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Have compassion for others and you. #Metoo exposes the ugly repugnant side of our culture. I watched the interview with Supermodel Kate Upton with Robin Roberts on “Good Morning America”. Kate is young, beautiful, smart and vibrant. When she was 18 years-old she experienced sexual abuse from the Guess co-founder. Now 25 years old, Kate courageously calls him out.
In context, Robin asked: What do you say to those who ask, “Why now?” “Why did you wait so long?” Kate said that she suffered in silence in the past, because of the perceived imbalance of power. “Who would believe me?”
She began to question herself, “Did I ask for this treatment?” No. Absolutely, not. Kate’s epiphany, “That’s not my fault. That’s his fault.” Precisely. Kate’s voice along with other brave voices inspire the call to action: Make this stop. Their voices are also profoundly sad. No one need suffer alone in silence, because they are disempowered as lesser than by others. No one.
What makes granting others compassion and kindness so difficult? Director Scott Cooper’s Western “Hostiles” is about the genuine reckoning of compassion. In Scott’s story, Christian Bale’s Captain Joe Blocker follows orders to escort his sworn enemy Chief Yellow Hawk, played by Wes Studi, to his tribal Cheyenne homeland in Montana. The elder Chief has terminal cancer.
In younger days the Chief mercilessly massacred Joe’s soldier comrades. In bloody vengeance, Joe brutally slaughtered many of Yellow Hawk’s warriors. He confesses to his Commander, “I hate ‘em.” All our prejudices can always be justified. Joe’s epiphany: He would have done the same, had he been Chief Yellow Hawk. Even your enemy suffered great loss. Even the enemy is human.
Arriving at Yellow Hawk’s homeland Joseph says, “I lost many friends and you have lost many as well.” Yellow Hawk replies, “… but we know death comes to all of us.”
Authentically getting someone isn’t understanding the reasons for nor deriving them. Getting another person according to Werner Erhard is having compassion. Getting another human being is one of humanity’s greater gifts.
What makes compassion so difficult? Perhaps, that compassion is self-surrender: What are you are going to give up? All-Pro Quarterback Tom Brady said, “What are you willing to do, and what are you willing to give up to be your best?” So what are you willing to give up for greater than?
Surrender to compassion. Give up being right. So what if you’re wrong? Who hasn’t been? Shakespeare wrote in “Hamlet” that we are “how like a god”. He didn’t write that we “are god”.
Give up your judgment of others, of you. Jesus Christ said, “He that is without sin among you, let him cast the first stone…” We all accept our own frailty or weakness. Paramount, forgive thine own self. We’re both lightness and darkness. That’s what it is to be human. That we’re not all good, not all lightness is the hardest lesson to own.
My legacy shall be defined by those I touch. What I do, who I choose to be, and what I say matter. Yes, we’ll make mistakes and fail, as we dare for greater than. Have what you do, who you are, and what you say make a difference for others. Have compassion for others, and you. Forgive others and forgive you, too.
I’ve trained in Aikido for nearly 30 years. Through the passing years, the words of Aikido Founder, O-Sensei resonate within me: “The Way of the Warrior is to give life to all things, to reconcile the world, and to foster the completion of everyone’s journey.” O-Sensei reinvented the Warrior as one who has compassion, who acts out of love for all people.
This Warrior arises from relentless dedicated training. Like O-Sensei, I believe that you create your warrior to protect the weaker, those who can’t act or speak for themselves. Inspire the greater within others.
Dishonor and complicity turn a blind eye to the cruelty of others. Those who do so are no better than those who abuse. No, that isn’t the Way of the Warrior. This is karma.
Sensei Dan said, “Just train.” Practice. Practice. Having compassion isn’t that difficult. Yet, simple doesn’t necessarily translate as easy. Sensei taught me that for anything to become natural, demands dedication, intensity, and intention. So endure. Endure for compassion sake.
Be mindful: Of what you do, of who you occur as, and of what you say. Give up judgment or at least take a breath before you condemn others or you. Have compassion in that we’re all human. Get others: What it is to be them. Give up being right. Or at least admit: I could be wrong.
I suck at compassion, rather I can always be more, so I practice this every day. When life is completed, being right will make absolutely no difference. We all want to make a difference in this life. That’s your human design. Have compassion for everyone, especially you. So practice. And continue to practice.
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Photo credit: Pixabay