COVID-19 Created My Social Anxiety

Currently, I am writing this from the comfort of my couch and the company of my faithful COVID companion, Korra (my dog). Before the global pandemic, I would have found this life to be uniquely boring and uneventful. I was typically the person you would find hanging out with their friends on a Saturday night or spending time at the movie theaters. I used to recharge from the presence of others and the conversations and laughs we shared with one another. Now, I find myself having anxiety about going to even the grocery store. I unequivocally blame COVID-19 for this.

In early 2020 I was finishing up my master’s program when the pandemic first hit the United States. Of course, there were news stories about a new virus strain that hit China but I, like many others, paid no mind to these stories as it didn’t seem realistic that a virus could sweep the world. Less than 18 months ago I was still regularly seeing my friends at bars, visiting my family at birthday parties, and even going on dates with random guys on Bumble/Tinder.

Now, I find myself doing the same things day after day. Sitting at my couch, watching the latest episode of whatever Marvel has just released, and longing for the connection I had to others prior to the pandemic. I find myself stuck in this invisible safety net I have created for myself by staying inside and away from others. Hell, I would love to go out and spend time with folks but I find myself ignoring the text messages and requests to go out and socialize.

According to a recent Harvard study, social isolation has been amplified by COVID-19. Those that have been hit the hardest have been older teens and young adults. This makes total sense seeing as this population is going through substantial life transitions and they also do not have the same level of social connections as their older counterparts. From a biological perspective, the “social” part of the brain is rapidly growing during this time frame. However, due to the pandemic, we shut our doors and closed ourselves off from one another in order to contain the spread.

“I was surprised at the degree of loneliness among young people,” said Richard Weissbourd, a psychologist and senior lecturer at the Harvard Graduate School of Education (HGSE) who helped lead the research. “If you look at other studies on the elderly, their rates of loneliness are high, but they don’t seem to be as high as they are for young people.” -The Harvard Gazette

A couple of weeks ago, I received news that I am to return to work, in-person. At first, I thought that it could be exciting to finally see folks and start building connections with people outside of our normal Zoom calls. I began to slowly start returning to work (in-person) during our transitional period and found myself anxious in all of my social encounters. Prior to the past year, I was the person that would walk up to a stranger and start a conversation just to find connection and community. That was what energized me and kept me excited about the day. However, now I can barely start a conversation with someone I have known for the past year in a Zoom room.

I believe that the COVID-19 pandemic has caused a lot of us to be a little anxious about what our in-person encounters are supposed to be. We now worry about so much more when we encounter our friends and colleagues. Unlike before, we have to make sure our entire appearance is appropriate/appealing (rather than just shoulders up). We also have to tone down our body language because we were able to turn off our video if we found that we were fidgeting or moving “too much”. We even need to consider our filler conversations because before it was socially appropriate to sit in a Zoom room in complete silence.

Social anxiety disorder (also called social phobia) is a mental health condition. It is an intense, persistent fear of being watched and judged by others. This fear can affect work, school, and your other day-to-day activities. -National Institute of Mental Health

I am a realist: As the pandemic restrictions ease these feelings are going to be amplified for many individuals. However, there are three things that you can do to help elevate these symptoms.

You are not alone in the awkwardness

Realize that you are not the only one experiencing this. If you are like me and going through this awkward reintroduction to the real world it feels like you are alone. You feel like you are lacking where others are thriving. You begin seeing your friends and random strangers partying whereas you are watching the latest episode of Grey’s Anatomy.

Social media enhances this because, in a world where everything is closed, the only way to connect with others is through tweets and the next viral Tik Tok. Moderation of social media use is non-existent post-pandemic and I guarantee you a good portion of your day is spent scrolling. Others feel this awkwardness and we are all just hiding it.

Redirect your worries

All the energy spent on how to best reintroduce yourself to the world is meaningless. You are authentic and have unique characteristics that others cherish. Step off the center stage in your head and switch places with the person that is in front of you. Seek to learn more about the person and find connections that you previously ignored on your Zoom calls.

Show your grit and perseverance

Above all else, we need to move through this transitional period together. Whether it is going back to work or going to a restaurant with friends, you are going to lack the motivation to get up and follow through. You will want to stay at home and be worried about what this next encounter may bring. Take it one step at a time. Push yourself to go back out there and see the world and find community. Even the smallest leap puts you back on the path of your pre-COVID self.

Every time I drive through a little town in North Carolina, I always see the little “We are in this together ______ (insert name of city/town)”. I always smile because I truly do believe in that phrase. As we return to“normal” (whatever that means) operations, we must lean on each other. This pandemic was a traumatic experience for everyone. It is up to us as a community to support and care for one another long after the pandemic.

“Be safe, be smart, be kind”, -Dr. Tedros Adhanom Ghebreyesus, WHO Director-General

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Previously Published on medium

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