COVID Has Made Me Unreliable

Since COVID became a thing, I’ve become much more unreliable. And that’s a good thing.

When I was fresh out of college, I was a bit of a workaholic. Part of it — I loved my job. Unlike many engineering companies, the one I chose was understaffed. That meant I got to do real design work fresh out of school. That was fun. Plus I always wanted to meet my deadlines. Since our management often set unrealistic goals, this meant I’d have to make-up for their bad planning by putting in more time.

One bad result from this — I’d go in to work even when I was horribly sick.

Until one day a European co-worker told me he never did that. “In Europe when we are sick, we stay home and rest. Why would I spread my germs to everyone else. Is it fair to others to have me come in? And what’s worse for the company — for one person to call in sick for a few days, or for that person to get several people sick so they all become less productive?”

It made sense.

So after that, I would stay home and rest when I got really sick. But it was a matter of degree — if it was just a cold, and I had an important meeting, I might not stay home, but just keep some distance and avoid physical contact. Plus, since I have allergies, if I suspected that’s what it was, I wouldn’t worry about it.

Then COVID hit.

Now, even if I suspect it’s just my allergies acting up, I cancel on people and self-quarantine. Because I can’t know for sure, right?

A friend recently told me that there is now a home test you can take for COVID, so I may invest in a few of those kits. That way, I can verify. If it’s just allergies and not COVID, I could go out, but I’d still share my status with friends beforehand. That way, they can make the choice and ask to reschedule if they feel it’s unsafe.

While I hate having to cancel, since the pandemic began I’ve stayed home from church and rescheduled doctor’s visits and social activities. It’s not that these things don’t matter to me — they do — but I can’t put others at risk.

This has made me unreliable, but given what is going on right now, I think that is a good thing.

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This post was previously published on Shefali O’Hara’s blog.

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