A sweet story about a dad’s creative idea to help his daughter’s feet grow in the right direction; an analogy for us all about life and personal growth.
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“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” Viktor Frankl
My feet were crooked. I didn’t realize it until the 1st or 2nd grade when one of my teachers called my parents at home one night and said “did you happen to realize that when Kristie walks, her feet point inward? I’m worried that this could impair her ability down the road, so I wanted to mention it to you.” My parents discussed this and soon thereafter, off to the best orthopedist I went: x-raying and figuring out what exactly was wrong with my little 6-year-old, pointed-in feet.
It turns out I wasn’t just walking this way based on some bad habit, but the bones in my feet were all growing inward. I remember nervously sitting on the cold doctor’s table fidgeting with the sanitary crinkling paper as I waited for the verdict. My dad, who happened to work in the ER Radiology Dept, walked over to his doctor friend and they looked at the x-ray on the light box and read it together.
I strained to overhear their conversation, the bit of it that I heard was: “we can break all the bones in her feet and reset them, or since she’s young, we can try some exercises to see if they can start growing in the right direction. Panicked, I hoped my dad would opt for plan B, and of course he did saying, “Yes, let’s try that first.”
For months we did the assigned exercises, but my feet weren’t correcting themselves.
If we keep going in the same direction, spouting unhealthy behaviors and hurting those around us, it will take its toll and keep us from truly being free and fully alive.
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One night my dad came home with a bag from the shoe store. I curiously followed him out to the garage where he pulled out a box with a pair of lemon yellow high tops inside it that he’d bought on sale for $9.99. He took his sander and saw and shaved the bottoms off of the shoes in effort to get rid of the traction and make the bottom smoother. Then my dad took his saw and cut the toes off of the shoes so that my toes would be free to wiggle in the open air and my feet could grow, still allowing me to wear the yellow shoes. That night he asked me to do something very strange:
“Kristie, every night while you sleep, I’d like you to try to wear these shoes on opposite feet. I think if we do this each night, your feet might grow in the right direction. Are you willing to try it?”
I agreed and for a few years, I wore yellow shoes to bed. Sometimes in the middle of the night I’d wake up and walk in my awkward opposite footed shoes to the bathroom and think about how silly I felt and how much I never ever wanted anyone to know that I wore yellow high tops to bed on the wrong feet. My feet hurt in them. I didn’t like the way that the rubber scraped against the sheets, it wasn’t comfortable. My dad said that the fact that they were hurting might just mean that it was working.
The miraculous thing is, the yellow shoes worked. My feet are perfectly straight, as they are naturally meant to be, and I have my dad and some yellow high top sneakers from the 1986 clearance table to thank.
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I’m sharing this story to illustrate something that’s true about life. We aren’t perfect. Maybe the pain of life has made you to grow defensive, frustrated, angry, or addicted. Do you think it could be time to let go of some of these ways, even if it takes a really long time? We all need to grow. We all need to change directions, it’s a life long process. If we keep going in the same direction, spouting unhealthy behaviors and hurting those around us, it will take its toll and keep us from truly being free and fully alive.
We need to heal. We need to grow. We need to start living in the right direction, the way that brings us life, even if it hurts and is awkward at first.
Are there glaring, painful, things you see yourself doing or saying that need to change? Someone you need to break up with? A toxic friendship to let go of? Examine your life and do the work of growing in the right direction. It is so, so worth it, I promise.
Are you ready to put on some yellow high tops with me? Growing and changing in healthy ways, sets us free and returns us to the authentic, incredible people we were each made to be. Here are a few steps you can take so that you’ll see results:
Have brave conversations. Approach friends and loved ones who know and love you and ask them to honestly reflect which of your behaviors they see that might be hindering your life from moving forward.
Gather input. Seek out experts in the areas you’re trying to grow in. If it’s time management, read a book, take a class, ask questions from someone you know who is great at it. Learn from those around you.
Practice Grace. Keep working at it, say sorry when you mess up, and know that perfection isn’t the goal, authenticity and freedom are. Becoming more of who you are is an exhilarating process, like uncovering something lost or letting go of something heavy.
Seek feedback. From those willing to tell you the truth and offer critique, ask also for the affirmation when they observe your growth. Hearing you’re making progress is affirming and encouraging, and you’ll keep growing if you know it’s worth the work!
Like my yellow shoes, it might hurt at first to change directions and try a new way of being. The reward however, might be worth the daily work of turning in a new direction.
Growing I believe, is about washing away what doesn’t belong and revealing all that you are. You are loved. You are valuable.
“Truth, like gold, is to be obtained not by its growth, but by washing away from it all that is not gold.” Leo Tolstoy
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Photo:Flickr/Jek-a-go-go