The first date.
Since no one seems to ask anyone to anything requiring a menu anymore, imagine a busy coffee shop. According to the bro code of my male friends, you arrive just slightly late enough to allow the woman to buy her own coffee. Then you smile awkwardly and sit down.
Fast-forward to the end of the date and you’re met with a stone cold stare when you ask for another.
Why you wonder?
Here are 3 reasons why your potential destiny died.
1. The Sound of One Tongue Talking
If you hear yourself using the pronoun I more than a few times, you are boring your date to death. Maybe you’re nervous or maybe you’re trying to impress her, but the number one complaint women have on first dates is their date doesn’t really appear to want to get to know them.
Conversations are like a game of hot potato, questions and answers should go back and forth, not remain one sided. If you’re holding that potato too long, you’ll be the one who ends up burnt.
2. The Look of Two Eyes Wandering
I can 100% confidently promise you that the person sitting in front of you changed her outfit at least two times and checked the mirror more than once right before arriving for this date. Bottom line, she made an effort for you. Whether you’re attracted to her or not, you owe this human being the respect of your attention no matter who walks in the door over her shoulder. If your grandma were alive, she’d slap you upside your head and tell you you were raised better than that. Snap out of it!
Looking at another women over your date’s head is equivalent to her pulling a ruler out of her purse, holding it up to your groin, and loudly exclaiming you don’t add up.
3. The Taste of Sour Grapes
You’re not a virgin, she’s not a virgin. We both know you’ve both been around the block and the bedroom more than once, but we really don’t want to hear about it.
There’s no greater turn off to a woman than hearing her date talk about his ex or even worse, sex with his ex.
Why do you do it? I’m still scratching my head on this one. Are you trying to push us away? Compare us? Give us hints of what you might like?
Or, are you truly as unaware as we will most definitely assume you are as we leave the date with a sigh of relief?
We all screw up, get nervous and say things we regret when we’re in a high-pressure situation. Dating is exciting and fun, nerve wracking and gut wrenching. Both sides of the table hope for the best, show up and make an effort. If you’re not getting date number 2, perhaps it’s time to reflect.
(and snap out of it)
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Photo Photo by Nathan Walker on Unsplash