A College Guy Dealing With Depression

Will Whaley attempted suicide when he was a college student. Four years later, he believes there is hope.

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I was diagnosed with depression in 2010 after a suicide attempt while attending Northwest Mississippi Community College.

Depression is a real sickness and, it is not curable.  The good news is that you don’t need a 100% cure to live a full life.  I am definitely better off than I was.  Having lived through it, my eyes have really opened to how depression works and some ways to deal with the days when depression feels like a weight.

My weight can feel as heavy as a loaded barbell without a spotter.

Thanks to these three things, my days are not as bad as they used to be.

#1 Swallow Your Pride

For three years of undergrad, depression was running my life. I would miss days of class and missed out on the college experience: playing sports, attending games with friends, concerts, spring break, campus socials–or keg parties, whatever you want to call them–meeting new people, talking to girls…the whole growth thing.

I thought that if I didn’t seek professional help, that proved there was nothing really wrong with me —  or worse, help would only be proof that I was just being dramatic. I suffered longer than I should have because I skipped medical help in hope that I could deal with it.   

I now know that that if I had gotten over my ego and sought help sooner, I would have done better in school and saved relationships. It’s hard for people who do not suffer from depression to know what struggles can be found in a head like mine.

Some of my closest friends washed their hands of me when my mood would change at least ten times a day–talk about an actual emotional roller coaster. Those troubles with my friends were yet another crummy thing to add to my depression.

It doesn’t have to be this way for you.

Help is out there but it is only available for those who are willing to accept it. After I finally decided to talk to a counselor on campus I had a new perspective on my depression. We focused on how to deal with bad days and that getting help was normal.

As these meetings progressed, everything started getting better.

My relationships improved–I made new friends who were understanding of what I was going through, went on dates again, my grades improved, and by the time I transferred to the University of North Alabama, I discovered a plan for life.  I would never have been able to realize that I wanted to be a journalist, that I wanted to try stand-up one day, and I definitely never would have seen myself working for one of my favorite podcasts–Man School with Caleb Bacon.

Accepting professional help — whether it is medicine, talking to counselors, therapists, or whatever else — is not weakness.  It is a sign of strength, and no different than going to the doctor for a cold or a broken leg.

#2 Occupy Your Time

Everyone wants more free time.  But for those of us with depression, free time is no friend.

If I ever have a great deal of free time, my mind wanders. I find my mood taken over by thoughts like I can’t make it or, my mind just tells me that everything is going wrong.

Occupying your time with socials on campus, working out, hanging with friends, open mic nights, intramural sports, clubs or organizations on campus, Netflix or Hulu binges, or–shocker–even school work can help you keep your mind off of your depression. Just stay busy.  For me, I started working on my book, it will probably never be seen by anyone other than me.

People aren’t lying when they say exercise helps your mental state. I played tennis all through high school and this helped back then. Getting on the court daily–sometimes twice a day–got my mind off of my depression.

Too bad I missed out on three years on the court that I loved because I felt so down and out.

#3 Have the willpower to keep going

On those bad days when everything is a struggle, the important thing is just to make your day happen.  From studying to new life choices, college is stressful enough as it is.

I remember one time I had agreed to go out with some friends to downtown Memphis to see some bands play. I was looking forward to it all day because some of our friends were in a band and, they had their very first EP release that night. I was pumped and had a new haircut.  It was an hour before everyone was suppose to meet and my depression hit me out of nowhere.  It caused me to miss out on the night.

Everyone had a great time, the bands sold a lot of EPs and, I stayed home in the bed just staring at the ceiling hating life.  Nobody could understand why I cancelled, and I could not put into words about what was going on. It was hard to explain that while nothing was physically wrong with me, I still could not leave my house.

Never let depression keep you from living your life. Sports player? Get out and do what you love. Wanting to start your podcast or blog? Get started. Having time with friends or family? Don’t cancel because of a bad day.

Simple tasks — like getting out of bed in the morning — can be one of the hardest things to do on depressed days. Start your day anyway.

I know it works for me.  

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Photo: Flickr/MrJamesAckerley