Have you ever been so excited you felt like you were on top of the world, only to come crashing down? Or maybe you were anticipating a big event, you put in planning, you bought tickets, you got incredibly excited, then afterward, you experienced a huge let down? I have had very similar experiences. I organize retreats and compete in races, all of which take a lot of planning, much anticipation, and thus, a possibly huge let down. That’s a natural reaction, but there is a solution.
Below are 5 tips on helping you understand your emotions, detach from them (but not forever), and find the middle ground.
Breathe
Breathing is one of the most necessary things we do as human beings, but it’s also one of the greatest tools for handling stress and emotions. If you’ve ever almost got into a car accident, or lost control on skis or a bike, a skateboard, etc., you know what it’s like and the first thing you do is stop to take a deep breath. Maybe 30 deep breaths to calm your nerves. All that adrenalin running through your veins takes it’s toll. Breathing is one quick easy way to find your center again.
Have Patience
Mom my always used to say that patience was a virtue. She couldn’t have been more right. I’m sure someone else coined the phrase, but regardless, it always reminded me that I may not get what I want right away. When we experience highs and lows it’s usually because we’re not getting what we want or we believe we’re losing what we have. For instance, that elation from a vacation, etc.
Meditate
Make sure you’re meditating on a regular basis. Meditation will help you deal with stress. It also teaches you how to sit back and observe those emotional extremes while not reacting. That is the key to not letting the tail wag the dog, so to speak.
Avoid too Many Rewards (or Expectations)
We’re in the instant gratification society these days and when we (or other people) don’t get what they want, when they want it, they get angry. That’s your first sign to understanding that you may be in trouble with expectations and reality. In life, it’s important to understand that we don’t always get what we want, especially when we want it. Patience is the key factor to keeping calm.
Know Yourself and Your Middle Ground
In Buddhism, they often talk about the middle ground. You don’t want to get too high or too low. While I’m not recommending you take up a new religion, there are some great tools we can use to keep us on a more even keel. One of them is understanding detachment. It’s written about a lot in Buddhism, but essentially means to understand what’s happening, but not to be overtaken by what it is. It’s absolutely okay to feel the richness and diversity of life, but wallowing in your sorrows or getting too high on your mighty horse are both negative. Finding the middle ground is what allows for personal freedom.
As always, I’m here to help. Feel free to leave a comment or question down below. In the meantime, let me know how you’re finding or how you’ve found some form of the middle ground in your life. Maybe there is a tip or a trick you can share with others. I look forward to hearing!
Originally published on the author’s website (teddymcdonald.com).
Photo by Gabriel Matula on Unsplash.