MOM passed away in the early morning of August 7, 2021, and I knew my life was changed forever. I did not know the full extent of the impact it would have on the roles that I had in life.
I did my best to follow the teachings until they became a habit for me, which meant that my time was spent in the roles I had with the people in my life.
A significant role that I had in my life was being a son. I was blessed to have MOM as my mother, and no matter the phase of life we were going through, we were there for each other.
Being MOM’s only son gave me a sense of responsibility that I was all too eager to take on and do well. I am grateful to her for telling me that she was proud of her son and the man I had become on more than one occasion. We had no words left unsaid to each other when she passed away.
Another role that I had with MOM was being a friend. I am grateful that MOM could distinguish when I needed my MOM and when I needed a friend.
MOM was a fierce ally who was diligent in ensuring that I knew that I could talk to her about anything and that she would love me no matter what. This was never so evident when I came out to her as gay in March 1979.
My best friend was my biggest fan for 42 years as I lived as an openly gay man. I always knew that MOM was there for me for those deep friend talks that we all need from time to time.
My role as of August 7 continues to shatter me-the role of an orphan. I first heard the role during a conversation with a friend just hours after MOM passed away. I felt my breathing deepen, and I was trying to wrap my head and heart around this new role.
It had never occurred to me that when MOM passed away, I would have the role of being an orphan. It hit me like a ton of bricks, and it has not let up in the time since she is not here anymore.
I am a son who lives without his MOM and a friend who lives without his MOM, and finally, I am an orphan who lives without his MOM. These roles are now a part of who I am and how I live life going forward.
I have learned with each of the roles the following life lessons.
- I can still be a son whether my MOM has passed away or my dad is not in my life. I can keep my son’s role going by continuing to honor MOM’s legacy and her impact on my life.
- I still have a best friend in MOM who now comes to me in new ways through dreams, music, and numbers. I always think of MOM when something shows up that I am convinced is a gift from her.
- I am an orphan who now has a life experience that will connect him to even more people who have lost a parent. I can be more supportive to others as a result of my life journey.
How are your roles evolving at whatever phase of life you are in currently?
How mindful are you of the roles that you have with the people who are in your life?
What might be some of the new roles coming to you at this point in your life?
With much impact…
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This post is republished on Medium.
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