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If you’re sick of the pink-and-blue divide in the toy aisles of big box stores across the country, you’ll be happy to hear that a toy that foregoes the hyper-masculinity of traditional boys’ toys has hit the shelves of some major retailers. Wonder Crew dolls, which are designed specifically for boys to help them foster their emotional connections with other people, are now available at Toys “R” Us and Target stores nationwide.
Wonder Crew has come a long way since its Kickstarter campaign in 2015. Created by Laurel Wider, psychotherapist and mom of a then-preschool-aged boy, Wonder Crew toys are designed to combat toxic cultural messaging that tells boys that having feelings and emotions makes them weak. The earliest iterations of these toys were developed with the help of 150 parents, kids, educators, and toy industry experts, who helped Wider determine the most popular play scenarios for preschool boys. The result is a doll – or “buddy” in the Wonder Crew universe – designed to encourage boys to build friendships and to express their emotions. Today, Wonder Crew offers four buddies from different ethnic backgrounds, something Wider says is important so kids can see themselves in their toys.
This may not seem all that Earth-shattering, but we live in a culture in which toys that encourage friendship, empathy, kindness, and love — characteristics that are still highly discouraged in our boys — are primarily marketed to girls. Instead, toys designed for boys are (still!) hyper-masculine – analytical but unemotional, muscle-bound and tough as nails, fearless and quick to resort to violence – setting harmful expectations for our kids that exacerbate gender stereotypes that force boys to hide their emotions and hinders their abilities to form deep, lasting bonds with other people, particularly other boys. Wonder Crew buddies strive to help boys embrace their emotions and to practice building strong relationships in a safe environment free of the tenets of toxic masculinity.
“You can be a superhero and a nurturer. Boys can experience themselves as strong or even tough and emotional human beings; one does not cancel the other,” say Wider. “A doll to pal around with and have adventures with and share cereal with or be buckled into the car seat next to – that’s a relationship, and that practice helps make relationships with friends and family much more familiar and easy. A doll is a teacher and a friend wrapped into one.”
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Breaking down gender divisions in toy aisles has really started to catch on over the last few years, and Wider has been an active participant in the movement. Just last year, Wider participated in a panel discussion at a conference at the White House entitled “Helping our Children Explore, Learn, and Dream without Limits: Breaking Down Gender Stereotypes in Media and Toys.” According to The Washington Post, the conference brought together toy, media and retail executives, along with activists, parents, academics and youth group leaders, with the lofty goal of eliminating gender divisions that currently define the media and toy markets in America.
“Research shows that the toys that kids play with and the media they consume has a real impact on the skills and interests they develop over their lifetimes and the careers they ultimately pursue,” Tina Tchen, executive director of the White House Council on Women and Girls, said in an interview with The Washington Post. “So we think it’s important for children’s media and toys to expose kids to diverse role models and teach them a variety of skills so they can fulfill their potential and pursue their passion.”
That was back in April 2016, but nearly a year later, Tchen’s call for positive role models seems even more relevant than ever given today’s political climate. It seems you can’t watch more than five minutes of cable news channels without hearing name-calling and finger-pointing, and no matter how hard we try to shield our kids from all of this hate, it has burst into our children’s lives, causing a frightening increase in bullying and harassment in schools across the country. Now more than ever, teaching our kids how to be loving, kind, and empathetic is a necessity, regardless of their genders.
“Our aim is to provide kids, particularly boys, with a play experience that gives them the green light to love and be loved,” says Wider. “The ability to connect emotionally benefits a person throughout life; these skills are learned. Want to decrease bullying? Teach and support kindness. Wonder Crew has been embraced nationwide because cultivating love and kindness just makes sense.”
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More about Wonder Crew here on GMP:
Big Toy Company Says Dolls Will Never Be Mainstream for Boys
Just Let Them Play
Why Your Kids Need Gender-Neutral Toys
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Photo credit: Wonder Crew
Wilder. Not Wider.