Denial Isn’t a River in Egypt.

August 9, 2019

I don’t care if my husband is polyamorous. I love him. I don’t care if he wants to have his cake and eat it too. I like cake. And threesomes. I don’t care if he’s attracted to other women. He loves me. That was never the real issue in the first place. Those were some of the thickest sentences I’ve ever allowed myself to write. I finally exhaled after typing them. I’ve hurt so much in the last six months. Coming out the other side of that pain tunnel is indescribable. I have felt so much anger in the last six months. I see now that it was the only way for me to love my husband even more than I already did. I see that brilliant light coming at me full speed ahead. We are on a whole other level now — a-brutally-honest-vulnerable-as-fuck-life-is-funny-and-you’re-my-best-friend kind of level. I’ve learned so much about myself, my boundaries (healthy and unhealthy), and what it feels like to fall in love again with the same person nineteen years later. I am learning what it’s like to trust someone enough to keep me safe and be vulnerable enough to let my wildest dreams come true. Let me tell you; it takes patience and a truckload full of grit. As cheesy as it sounds, I really do love him more than I did on our wedding day. And more than I ever thought possible.

Our next adventure awaits.…

…to be continued.

. . .

Except, I did care. And I thought I was his cake.

I’m almost embarrassed to share this email draft (to myself) I found from three years ago. (This was pre-sh*t hitting the fan and hopeful, unenlightened me genuinely believing I could save my marriage if I went along with what my ex-husband wanted.) It’s excruciatingly painful to look back at the desperation oozing from my every word. However, tapping into my vulnerabilities and sharing them with you has changed my life for the better, and I want nothing more than to continue thriving.

. . .

Thank you for reading! You are Loved. ❤

Divina Grey is a ferocious woman and mother tapping away on her keyboard (until her fingers bleed) to make a living on her freelance income.

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This post was previously published on Found In My Journal.

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Denial Isn’t a River in Egypt.

It’s a draft in your inbox.

Except, I did care. And I thought I was his cake.

You Might Also Like These From The Good Men Project

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About Divina Grey

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