I have been pretty outspoken about what I think about our current commander-in-chief, must to the chagrin of my redder-than-red friends, co-workers, and my brother-in-law, who showers with his MAGA hat on.
But it’s politics, and like the weather in Ohio, everything can change in the amount of time it takes to microwave a bowl of tomato soup. Which isn’t long, and I always overdo it, and the first sip scalds the top of my mouth, and I vow never to microwave tomato soup again.
Well, that won’t happen to Trump, because he probably employees an under under-secretary of state to take the first sip of his soup. Which brings to one thing that’s great about being commander-in-chief–you can eat whatever you want, whenever you want; and that forces me, begrudgingly, to mention something that I like about Trump–he had McDonald’s in the oval office.
But I digress. Unlike our President, I can’t eat whatever I want. I eat whatever my wife puts in front of me for dinner, then I see it again the next day in my lunch container. My diet consists entirely of food that I can afford, not food that is particularly tasty.
Which led me, one evening after a dinner of meatloaf, green beans, and fingerling potatoes, which my wife only serves when her mother isn’t around because her mother thinks fingerling potatoes are a waste of money–it led me to ask myself: what do I eat every week?
So I started a list. I wrote down everything I ate in one week. Every breakfast, lunch and dinner item. Every jelly donut, every bean and cheese burrito, every Frito, chocolate chip waffle, lo-cal frozen meal, and breaded pork chop. Everything.
At the end of the week, I looked at the list and tried to make sense of it. It turns out that I like chicken. I eat it several times a week. I had fried chicken, b-b-qued and even some chicken nuggets. I even had chicken fried rice. What else did I have? A hamburger–with cheese, a salad, kernel corn, and pasta. Some pizza. And a meatball sandwich–which reminds me of this guy who puts French’s yellow mustard on his meatball submarine sandwiches. I wince when he does it but I can’t turn away…
So I did it for another week and guess what? It was about the same. I eat the same stuff every week. And that’s okay, but hell, it’s BORING. I had to get out of my self-imposed food prison–I had to diversify…
So I did. I went to the grocery store with my wife, and went down the aisles I consistently ignored; spent an inordinate amount of time in the produce section, where I introduced myself to kale; spurned the colas for juice, and I even read some of the labels. Amazing.
Make a list of everything that goes in your mouth during the week. Food, that is–not your fingernails or your girlfriend’s tongue. Food.
At the end of the week post the list on the front of your refrigerator. Then, for the next week, DON’T EAT ANYTHING ON THAT LIST.
Try some Indian food or macrobiotics or veggie burgers or carrot cake or eel sushi (which I tried and now I’m hooked, pardon the pun). It won’t kill you. Trust me.
What’s your take? Comment below or write a response and submit to us your own point of view or reaction here at the red box, below, which links to our submissions portal.
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