One of the challenges prevalent in our culture, especially in the United States, is the pervasive availability of comforts. Pleasure-seeking has become effortlessly accessible, with smartphones epitomizing this ease. It’s akin to continuously pulling the lever of a slot machine, chasing dopamine hits.
This culture of instant gratification fosters the notion that discomfort is unacceptable. There’s a pervasive belief that we are entitled to constant comfort, and any discomfort signifies a problem that needs immediate rectification.
Engaging in constant pleasure-seeking leads to a never-ending pursuit of transient satisfaction. Despite engaging in seemingly mundane activities, we fail to derive lasting fulfillment or profound pleasure. Instead, we become ensnared in a cycle of addiction, where the pursuit of pleasure becomes the sole focus, disregarding its deeper implications.
It seems that we all like the idea of personal growth and development. No one disputes the philosophy or psychology behind growth, and the fact that we must engage in stress, pain, and suffering to do so. However, when the rubber meets the road, we seem to hit the brakes. Seeing as how we have the ability to excuse ourselves, we do so readily, but at our own risk for the long-term.
What we do in these moments is we manipulate the meaning of the objective world around us to appease our subjective experience. This is the trap. The world then exist to serve me and my feelings. This perpetuates the cycle of dissatisfaction, relationship breakdowns, and social strife.
Individuals are parts of families, communities, and society as a whole. It is impossible that the entirety of society and my family exist to serve me. Perhaps what it’s actually providing is the information and a venue in which I can actually find truth and engage in the growth that my being so desperately desires.
My view is that discomfort and pain is a message from heaven inviting us to encounter the divine. When we engage our pain honestly we bring heaven closer, but when we avoid we are keeping it away. What we often overlook, or perhaps resist acknowledging, is that discomfort serves as a messenger, offering insights into our relationship with the world around us. It prompts us to cultivate character, resilience, and meaning. By delving into the roots of our discomfort and taking ownership of our responses, we chart a path toward growth. This is true bio-psychologically and from a faith perspective.
Seeking comfort isn’t inherently problematic; however, seeking it without acknowledging the lessons embedded within discomfort is where the issue lies. When we are able to properly interpret our discomfort, especially when we experience it regularly, we derive meaning. Meaning then dictates purpose and purpose inspires confrontation with the pain, not avoidance.
Quit trying to think around the problem of suffering and pain and encounter it with discipline, accountability, and personal responsibility. Yes, even if you had a horrible childhood, lack resources, or suffered loss in your adult life. The pain of those experiences being expressed by your body, emotions, and behavior are trying to tell you something. Listen to them. Sort it out with a professional or pastor but don’t avoid it because it holds the key to the direction of your life. Your wounds and your need to grow are intrinsically tied together and they are sorted out through our relational experiences.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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From The Good Men Project on Medium
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Photo credit: Nathana Rebouças on Unsplash
Alternatively, I would postulate that people misconstrue pain (particularly, the confrontation, the acceptance, and the endurance of pain) for virtue. In a nation originally founded by puritans, there’s something very puritanical about that. And I think people have started to believe that virtue now also hinges on inflicting torment (as well as enduring it), and provoking displeasure upon the unrighteous. So, in their minds, inflicting torment and giving themselves free rein to indulge in their own capacity for gratification through cruelty, they justify themselves as virtuous, and their actions as indispensable. People would do just as well, I think, to… Read more »