We often say yes to little requests because we are not clear enough about what we need to be doing instead.
~ James Clear, “Atomic Habits”
When it comes to achieving dreams, beware of saying yes to demands on your time…
Or before you know it, a lifetime will have passed and you may discover, to your dismay, that you just never seemed to have got around to doing what you really wanted to do in your life.
In his outstanding book, “Atomic Habits; An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones,” author James Clear explains that a significant reason people struggle to develop the habits necessary to achieve whatever is they want to, is because they lack clarity about the specifics of when and how they are going to do what needs to get done.
I see this an awful lot: a person may be clear about what they want to achieve, but try as they might, they can’t seem to develop the habits necessary to do the work, day in and day out.
“Many people think they lack motivation,” writes Clear, “when what they really lack is clarity.” “It is not always obvious when and where to take action. Some people spend their entire lives waiting for the right time to make an improvement.”
“Implementation Intention” to the rescue
“An implementation intention” explains Clear, “is a plan you make beforehand about when and where to act. That is, how you intend to implement a particular habit.”
“Hundreds of studies have shown that implementation intentions are effective for sticking to our goals,” the author continues. “People who make a specific plan for when and where they will perform a new habit are more likely to follow through.”
“Once an implementation intention has been set,” says Clear, “you don’t have to wait for inspiration to strike. Do I write a chapter today or not? Do I meditate this morning or at lunch? When the moment of action occurs, there is no need to make a decision. Simply follow your predetermined plan.”
As a personal example, I went to Paris recently, partly to work on a screenplay and partly to enjoy the city. Since I often combine work and travel, I knew I needed a plan in place, so that I would stay on track with my writing and enjoy exploring. I decided ahead of time that I would write for 3 hours in the morning – for five out of the eight days. And since I had already developed the daily morning writing habit after years of practice at home, I was easily able to accomplish what I set out to…in a city teeming with infinite distractions.
Because another benefit, of course, to setting an implementation intention is that it helps us say no to whatever distraction or demand on our time that will derail us from our intended task.
“Being specific about what you want and how you will achieve it helps you say no to things that derail progress, distract your attention, and pull you off course,” explains Clear. “We often say yes to little requests because we are not clear enough about what we need to be doing instead.”
“When your dreams are vague,” the author continues, “it’s easy to rationalize little exceptions all day long and never get around to the specific things you need to do to succeed.”
Wise words indeed. As such, it is imperative to get crystal clear on what your dreams are, what you are going to have to do to achieve them, and what habits you need to develop to do so.
If you have read this far, you may know WHAT small but significant changes you need to make in your daily routine – now you just need to make them. But even if you don’t know exactly what your dream is, making a daily habit of carving out the time to figure it out might be the best investment you ever make. As easy as it is to allow ourselves to be distracted – and say yes when we want to say no – the long-term costs can be very high indeed.
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