Joel Schwartzberg calls BS on “manly” calories and diet sodas designed “just for men.”
Why the somewhat sudden need for men-targeted diet sodas? Maybe Coke Zero and Pepsi Max flew a little under the radar, but commercials for Dr. Pepper TEN—in which virile men drive hard, fight hard, sweat hard, and drink low-calorie soda from cans hard—make no bones about it: this is a drink made just for MEN (or as the commercials like to say, “This is not for women”). My wife likes to call it “Dr. Penis.”
Unlike Diet Dr. Pepper, Dr. Pepper TEN has 10 manly calories and two manly grams of sugar. Hoo-ah! But who is it really for? According to USA Today, Dr. Pepper TEN was developed “after the company’s research found that men shy away from diet drinks that aren’t perceived as ‘manly’ enough.”
Where are these men who, in 2012, are embarrassed to be seen drinking diet soda? Or drinking from a can that includes the world “diet?” Raise your hands if they can go that high. Wherever you are, Dr. Pepper TEN is there not just to provide a regular dose of sweet caffeine, but also to reinforce ridiculous notions of manhood. Drink one while you’re slapping on Axe body spray, watching football, stomping on a quiche, and not asking for directions.
I know men didn’t get into Tab, and maybe “Bud Diet” wouldn’t make a very good “Bud Bowl” contender, but I see plenty of dudes drinking Diet Coke, Diet Dr. Pepper, and Diet Pepsi. I’ve been personally drinking diet sodas for years, without a sparkle of self-consciousness. (Zima? That’s another matter.)
To be honest, I really like the taste of Dr. Pepper TEN (and I’ve always been a Pepsi One guy). But in the communities, supermarkets, and train stations I travel through, it’s Dr. Pepper TEN I’m embarrassed to be seen drinking. To me, TEN doesn’t say, “I drink MAN drinks.” It says, “I consume dumb stereotypes.”
And that’s a legitimate shame.
—Photo ABCNews/Dr Pepper Snapple Group
There are gyms for exclusively women only because smart men realize in order to keep them slim and sexy looking they need to feel safe and secure at gyms. You see, women-only gyms are masterminded by smart men who love sexy women. As for men? we don’t care if women are around or not. As a last resort we can always amuse ourselves with farting and burping, and Dr. Pepper goes a long-way to help that.
had to look up a couple times to see if it was a female writing this article. the fact that you buy in so much to a tag line is hilarious.
stop trying to be so politically correct all the damn time.
” Drink one while you’re slapping on Axe body spray, watching football, stomping on a quiche, and not asking for directions.”
This make me laugh out loud.
Hmmm. And yet you drink it anyway.
Hmmmmmmmmmmmm.
Good take, Joel. I’m tickled (if that isn’t too unmanly of a word) that the decision to make a diet soda more manly involves adding calories… a meta-message that men know they don’t have to be “skinny”… just less fat. Like we sit around saying, “I can’t see my shoes, but dammit, I’m not gonna do anything crazy and go calorie free… that’s chick thinkin’!”
That said… I’m buying a six-pack today. Finally, a soda just for me!!!
Bobbt, that whooshing sound you hear is the point of this piece going right over your head.
Obviously someone shook his can before he opened it.
And I bet it was a woman.
Then please explain it to my “inferior” male brain Veronica! (And please, speak slowly and make sure to use small words!)
It’s just a marketing slogan to sell soda. Why, however, is it so evil to have anything , product or place, just for men? There are plenty of products and places designated just for women. There are 3 fitness gyms in my town . 2 of them are designated “Women Only”. When i joked with the owner of the third one that I go to “Maybe you should designate this place “Men Only”” , he said he couldn’t if he wanted to. It seems the law in New York states you cannot deny access to women anyplace that’s open to… Read more »