Us guys. We’re notorious for taking poor care of ourselves.
Well, it’s part of being a man. You’re taught from a young age to suck it up and deal. To be tough.
And even if you’re not that kind of guy, you might still measure yourself by that standard when things get tough.
For a lot of guys, life goes like this. You work hard at your job. You try to do the best for your kids. You try to do the best for your family. And yet often you feel like you’re just barely keeping up.
Maybe you even feel as if there’s nothing left in the tank for you. And that you consistently put yourself last. If that’s you, I have to ask you…
Do you martyr yourself for your family?
You see, we do this, because along with suck it up and deal, a lot of us guys carry another line of unconscious programming inside of us when it comes to our family.
Serve and protect. Serve and provide.
While this has a good intention behind it – to provide well for our family, it has a terrible delivery mechanism that burns us out, makes us resentful, and sabotages what we ultimately want to be – a good dad, a loving husband.
What if you could provide well for your family and be energized and resourced?
I’ll tell you what would happen. You’d be in a better position to be the good dad and loving husband you want to be.
You can’t be good to others if you’re not good to yourself. And you can’t give what you don’t have.
Let’s face it, we work hard to make the big bucks at work and provide for our kids and family. That’s the biggest baseline responsibility we have as family men.
Sure, many women are contributing big-time financially as well these days. But still, there’s something intrinsic in a man’s cell worth relative to his net worth.
And yet when it comes to using some of that net worth for his own well-being, men consistently put themselves last.
I talked with a guy the other day who felt guilty spending $100 to get a massage but he’ll spend $1000 without a thought for his kid to go on a school trip.
Do you put yourself last when it comes to investing in yourself?
And yet there’s a greater wisdom here that goes right over the head of most guys.
When you invest in yourself, to resource yourself, to create a better version of yourself, you’re also investing in your kids having a happier and better dad.
Doing everything all the time for everybody else inevitably leads to burn out. And it makes you a grouchy dad and a shitty husband.
Putting yourself last puts you into a position of resentment. Your family deserves better.
Do you want a better YOU for your wife and your family?
If so, check out this video about a guy who spent 6% of his kid’s college tuition on himself and never blinked an eye because it served his ultimate mission – to be a kick-ass dad who enjoyed every day with his son. Okay, no bullshit, that guy was me.
Your kids and your wife deserve a better version of you and so do you.
It ain’t rocket science to know how to take care of yourself. But it can feel like moving a mountain. You may even have to be willing to fight old voices of guilt.
But step out of your comfort zone. That’s where the magic happens.
Do you want to be a more resourced version of yourself for you and your family?
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Previously Published on stuartmotola.com and is republished on Medium.
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