Three years ago, my mom’s death in the hospital after one year (just a few days to complete) interned. Throughout my life, as I was the pleasure to be her son, she taught me a lot, really, a lot. But were, right now, I’ll share with you the three main lessons that I draw from that year.
If you need these will be a cliché story, please, skip.
But let me be clear too, these wouldn’t be the great story that are you looking to get rich, or to be the most successful person in the world.
My mom was not a rich woman. It was not a success story that everyone wants to hear. Was a victim of domestic violence (not from my dad), was a divorced mother, and lost her pathers with the ’30s.
Great, you’re here, yet, it’s because you want to know what I learned and wanna share with you.
. . .
Let me just make two previous notes.
- One year in the hospital, it’s a lot of time. You see people die your side, you listen to people crying all night long, and you can’t sleep and, of course, you have nothing to do. It’s boring. So, stay home during these Coronavírus. It’s easy for me when o think that my mom stayed one long year lying down in a hospital bed unaware of the future.
- As a son, what could I do? The visit time is just 8 hours a day, and if you stay there all the time, you do nothing anything more about your life, and she’ll think that is stopping you. So, I’ll explain what I did (and you are not prepared to) at the final of this story. But, you can think about it until then.
. . .
These three lessons are not sequential ticks or in the same category. Two of then I’m sure that you hear before, but never it’s too much remember that.
You can have a lot of money, really, but what about have two houses, and can’t you sleep at any of them? Yeah, it’s real. My mom had two houses, one of than with a suit, and she couldn’t go to a bathroom alone. So, money to buy a lot of homes it’s nothing when you are in your final days in a bed in the hospital.
The second lesson and third were things that she told me and I should care more about it, but you know how life is, don’t you know?
Throughout her life, my mom brought a lot of books, as the majority of people. She brought books thinking that one day, maybe before retire, she would read them. As no one remembers, she doesn’t believe that she would not have health in retirement. One day, in hospital, she told me as wisdom advice: read while you can.
And the last one, and as she knows me (I build many castles on the sand), she told me to never give up from my dreams. It’s ok, this one it’s cliché, but how many of us practice this advice? How many times you hear or read it? And don’t do it why? I know it’s not easy. Every day we cross with a lot of distractions, and we have not a clear idea about what we would like to do. But we should.
. . .
As I said before, I’ll finish this story by telling you what I did to give something significant to the woman of my life. One day, while driving home from the hospital, I thought about how much more I could do. Of course, your mom likes your presence in the hospital, to feel that you care about her, but it’s not enough. I decided to back to school, get a Master’s in the area that I love and, finally, be a student that she always would like that I was. And, you know? It’s happened. I entered the best college in my country (Portugal) in public policy with one of the higher marks. When she’s gone, I was the best student in my class and, at the same time, did an internship at government structure. The problem was that I went to 300km away, and it was nothing pure, but it was necessary to know, nowadays, that my mom spent the last week talking, calling her friends to tell me that I was doing well. She was proud of me, and that’s enough.
. . .
Final Note: Just to complete the information, I lost my mom with 25 years old, and she’s had 55, too early, I know. I feel as stolen me 25 years of coexistence. But life is what it is. Maybe, the best advice that I can give you is clear, enjoy your mom. After that, I finished my Master’s Degree, and she doesn’t notice. I got married, and she didn’t take me to church. It’s hard, belief.
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This post was previously published on A Parent Is Born and is republished here with permission from the author.
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Photo credit: Unsplash
