Time flies, and suddenly, half a life has passed. A middle-aged woman has both the old parents and the young children. She has to work and take care of the family. If her husband is average in ability and the family situation is not good, she has to worry about the trivial matters of life. The husband is a little better, and she has to guard against the prying eyes of women outside. The life of a middle-aged woman seems to have only two words left: tired.
When a woman reaches middle age, her life has been finalized, and generally, there will not be too many miracle discoveries. At this stage, women have become more and more wise and transparent after going through the world and ups and downs. They should have a better understanding of what can be done and what cannot be done. But such a woman can’t realize the true meaning of married life, she just goes her way, and as a result, her life becomes less and less happy.
A middle-aged woman, if she still loves to do these three things, is doomed to be “desolate” for the rest of her life.
01 Not controlling one’s emotions, throwing tantrums
Classmate Lucy was very strong when she was in school, and even more so after working. Except for the year of pregnancy and childbirth, it was a little easier. For the rest of the day, work is her life. The result of her hard work is that she has earned everything that is enviable. The house, car, and superior living environment are beyond the reach of many people.
Lucy is a shrewd and strong woman outside, and she is also a tough wife at home. It stands to reason that she works so well, and she should know how to control her emotions and temper. However, it may be because she is often forbearing at work, which makes her take her husband and children as objects to vent, and if she is unhappy, she will be angry with them. Temper, there are few peaceful days at home. After more than 20 years of marriage, Lucy’s simple-minded personality has never changed.
If a woman is middle-aged and still can’t restrain her bad temper, even if she has achieved success in her career, it will be difficult to have a happy married life. Lucy’s husband filed for divorce when his son was admitted to a university. He said that he was fed up with Lucy’s toughness and lived without any dignity in front of her. Lucy’s son resolutely chose to live with his father after their divorce. He said that he never felt the tenderness of a mother’s love.
Controlling one’s emotions is a kind of emotional intelligence, not only for friends but also for family members. There is no tolerance for granted. Lucy’s accumulated injuries forced her husband and son away. In the end, she became “lonely and widowed”.
02 Dissatisfied with life after marriage, seek comfort outside marriage
Mary and her husband have been together for 13 years, married for 7 years, and have a 4-year-old child. In the year of their seven-year itch, Mary cheated. Mary and her husband are each other’s first love. From love to marriage, there is nothing vigorous, there have been quarrels and happiness, but more of them are dull. After getting married, the days continued to be neither better nor worse, and the two had no passion. Mary became more and more uninterested in this kind of life. Later, She met a man through the Internet, and the two fell in love from the virtual world to real life. After Mary’s husband found out, he slapped her hard and divorced angrily.
After Mary went out of the household, she moved in with his lover. Soon Mary found out that her lover had not divorced his wife. Although he vowed that he would divorce and marry Mary soon, not only did he fail, but he often stayed at night. No home, every time she asked him, he always said socializing. Mary quarreled with him, and finally, the man walked away. Mary was charged with infidelity, and in the end, she didn’t get the marriage she wanted.
Many people always attribute extramarital affairs to unhappy marriages, but extramarital affairs are a manifestation of dissatisfaction. If a woman feels that her current life is not satisfactory, she can choose to divorce and pursue true love again. If one side retains the stability of the marriage, and at the same time wants to seek extra-marital comfort, such a woman will sooner or later suffer the consequences of such a choice.
When people reach middle age, they need to know how to choose and to be content. You must know that loyalty is the cornerstone of marriage. For whatever reason, once this loyalty is destroyed, the rest of your life will be “desolate” sooner or later.
03 Only think about yourself, don’t care about the feelings of your family
Christina, after getting married, found that life was not as beautiful as she imagined. Every day she faced either firewood, bread, oil, or salt, feel oppressed very, and always quarrel with her in-laws, and her husband. Throw the children under one year old to the parents-in-law and go out to spend the day and drink on their own. Even her parents couldn’t stand it and persuaded her many times, but she just couldn’t listen. Later, the husband couldn’t stand the irresponsible remarks of the people around him, and he couldn’t stand her selfish behavior, so he filed for divorce. She agreed without saying a word, as chic as the player’s house she had been in when she was a child.
It’s just that because of her bad reputation, after the divorce, many men just play with her, and none of them want to live with her sincerely. Now that she is almost fifty years old, she realizes that there seems to be no one around her who can talk to her. Her ex-husband has remarried, and her child does not recognize her as a mother at all because she has not taken care of her.
People’s hearts will become cold, even those closest to them are no exception. If a woman still goes her way after marriage and doesn’t know how to consider her family, it will only lead to fewer and fewer confidants around her, and in the end, she will be left alone.
Conclusion
Respecting yourself, respecting others, cherishing feelings, and valuing family are the keys to a happy life. As a middle-aged woman, you don’t have to worry about gains and losses, and you don’t have to be obsessed with the past. Keep an optimistic attitude, so that you will be truly happy.
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This post was previously published on MEDIUM.COM.
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From The Good Men Project on Medium
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