So, these individuals weave a sweet story and draw you into it and then, you are the next on their hit list. They learn about you, your character, what matters most to you, and then they slowly, but surely begin to unravel your person to others. The Inner circles are those closest to you. The people you trust.
It is like the death of society in foul interpersonal communication tactics.
People don’t like what you say, so, they gossip. Their story is heard, much louder and stronger than your story. It circulates faster than the truth.
Finding a battle to fight every day, or one which impacts the most people and then going for it with the dagger to the heart is quite unethical on multiple levels. Yet, on social media platforms, the act of impending doom, he said — she said — they said crud keeps moving people farther apart rather than closer together.
If you find yourself caught up in the drama junkie’s platform, I feel your pain. I’ve been caught up, innocently, multiple times so I stay away from the chaos. Sometimes, chaos comes to you, even when you stay away from it, and sends you into a tailspin. Life has its ways of intervening into our lives.
One suggestion is to keep your circle (inner) smaller than your outer circles.
1. The Inner circle are those closest to you. The people you trust.
2. The first Outer Circle are those you intersect with at work, church, stores, organizations, and so forth.
3. The farthest Outer Circle are the individuals who hit the news, those who are fixated on hurting others, strangers, and villains, political figures, and government officials, among others.
When Relationships Falter: Trust Vs. Mistrust
Trust, a valuable commodity these days, is in limited supply. Often times, we blindly trust until the trust is broken, repeatedly, until the trust transforms into mistrust.
In itself, mistrust is a symptom of a much larger problem.
With mistrust, a person begins asking questions, in a searching manner, seeking a response that validates their feelings.
Usually, they do not get the answer right away, so they continue to prod, poke, and perform specific tactics to erode the person with whom they lost trust.
Eventually, something is shared, and the information is returned to the mistrusting individual and they now have the answer and the ammunition they need to draw out a full-fledged attack.
As a symptom, mistrust originates from pain and betrayal.
Some form of trauma existed in the individual’s life before they began to mistrust. It might appear as a tiny seed in the mind, fed by continued fear and the mind’s operating system of memory retrieval from the unconscious mind to the foremind.
A word of caution: the mistrusting individual may be wrong or they may be right. The negative self-talk they rehearse in their minds increases their agitated state and as an impetus to a tidal wave, their search knows no limits. They seek their validation through tactics, oftentimes, abusive in nature.
Those who practice these behaviors oftentimes do so from a standpoint of inner pain. They are addicted to the release of the stress hormone, adrenaline, and without even knowing what motivates them, they proceed with the plan. Spreading gossip, implanting ideas, and separating friends and family are only a small portion of the ways in which negative people have upon society.
An interesting concept by Dr. Lickerman helps to explain how we find ourselves in the midst of stress. He shares, “The problem is that our minds are so powerfully predisposed to make judgments in general that they make most of them too quickly, based on too little data. What’s more, these judgments almost always leave out a key ingredient — our own ability to affect a particular outcome.”
The Ripple Effect
On a personal level, each individual who takes responsibility for their actions and choices impacts society.
It creates a ripple effect.
The ripple is demonstrated by one individual, reflected another, and modeled again to yet one more person. Pretty soon, there are a dozen individuals who begin to respond in the same manner, thereby reducing negative effects and attitudes.
The phrase, each one reach one, is a catchy one I heard in a song, in the 1990s by the Continentals. Here is a simple 29 second snap of the song:
The concept brings me to a point whereas individuals, the responsibility to exert an open mind and a willing spirit creates a gentle world rather than a brass, overbearing world dictated by agitation and irritation.
Sometimes, humanity oversteps its bounds.
Tragedy and issues arise and people spread the worst when they do not get their way. Why is that we wonder? It’s like a temper tantrum in adult form. They cannot toss themselves all over the place like a two-year-old, however, they use their voice in exponential ways to increase the odds their target it hit.
You cannot change another person.
You can and need to change only yourself. Repeat: Only yourself. Never forget that tiny focus! Drama junkies will seek out willing parties, unwilling parties, and so forth until they grab hold of the person most able to use to meet their fetish needs. Drama is as drama does.
Keep your circle small.
Know your inner circle and treat them with honesty and genuineness. Process those who enter the next circle, and decide if they are worthy to let in your world a little bit deeper, or whether they need to stay on the outer circle. It takes time to process. Trust, but verify is a great motto during the processing stage. The outer circle; let them be. You are more worthy than you know.
Now, go out there and celebrate the inner circle’s gift of genuineness and trustworthiness!
~Just a thought by Pamela
Previously published on Medium.com.
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