Random Hail Storms While Reinventing Myself.
These days, I have a lot more “free time” than I’ve ever thought I’d have when I became a parent. It’s weird. It’s sad. And I have forced myself to embrace that quiet space to reinvent myself. At thirty-nine years old, I have the freedom to become whoever I want if I set my mind to it; it’s a liberating and intimidating thought in equal measure.
On my day off, I found myself driving around town — still trying to figure out what the hell I was doing with my life. I stopped in at my favorite healthy-ish food chain for a double chicken avocado salad and to ponder life some more. There I was in mid-bite of deliciously fire-grilled chicken when I heard an unfamiliar crunching sound outside and peered around the restaurant to see what it was. Everyone had stopped eating their lunch, and the couple behind me were holding their phones up to capture what was happening outside.
It was the most random hail storm in history; I had just washed my car — and I couldn’t control the weather.
I can’t remember the last time it hailed in California. It was seventy-eight degrees last week, for Pete’s sake! So, after feeling a bit defeated by a clean car and the unpredictable weather, I ran with the thought of how there is so much in life we can’t control.
We might as well embrace what’s happening and make the best of it.
I quickly took a video of the hail storm pelting the blacktop outside and shared it with my kids, who were at their dad’s at the time. Sharing spontaneous moments makes me feel connected to my kids when we aren’t together, and I have a sneaking suspicion it awakens similar emotions in them when I’m not around.
After all things considered, I chose to separate from my ex-husband. I fought like a ferocious lioness for more custody with her cubs (and lost), I am up to my eyeballs in debt, and I have no choice but to reside with my parents until I get on my feet again.
There are many things in life you can’t control. So, lean in, roll with the punches and learn to embrace those unavoidable (and sometimes stormy) jabs in life.
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This post was previously published on MEDIUM.COM.
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From The Good Men Project on Medium
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