Are you looking to improve? I would hope so. Improving yourself is the beginning to changing the world. It might seem like a heavy task, but it starts with the “man [or woman] in the mirror,” like Michael Jackson said. I was on my mountain bike this morning and I started in the clouds. It was humid and chilly. I wondered if I was going to get high enough to emerge from the clouds and see the view. From the photo above, you can see precisely what the top looked like. It worked and it also got me thinking about different layers of our lives and what kind of clouds we can emerge from.
We go through many stages in life, some are great and we feel like we’re cruising along, while others can be incredibly difficult. Breakups, job loss, loss of loved ones, etc. The amazing thing I’ve found is that even when things seem difficult, there is always a chance and an opportunity to learn. That brings me to purposely pulling the wool back and emerging from your own cloud. If we find the most growth during and after these difficult times, wouldn’t it make sense to look for the difficulty and work on it? So…
What cloud will you emerge from? Are you having trouble in your relationship? At work? With your own goals? And if so, what is holding you back? Are you fighting your own inner demons? Are you creating a situation in your life that allows you to create a self-fulfilling prophecy that keeps you down?
These are all important questions to ask and more importantly to answer. Sometimes they are challenging to find answers to because we may not want to look so deep or we’re not ready for the truth. Like Jack Nicholson famously yelled, “You can’t handle the truth!” Is that true for you? I hope not. I’m sure not if you’re still reading! It’s not easy to look inside, it’s much easier to drink some wine and anesthetize your worries and sorrows. That life no longer interests me.
The most important question to ask is, what places in your life can you improve? Then begin to look at those areas. Here are a few tips to get you started on the search. But before that you must believe that by exploring these deep places in your emotional world, that you’ll come out better than before. That you’ll learn something that will not only enhance your own life, but those around you. If you don’t believe that, then there isn’t really a reason to look inside.
The definition to emerge is to come forth into view or notice, as from concealment or obscurity. If you’re willing to do these three things, I guarantee you’ll let go of some old habits and begin to create a new you!
Look deep inside yourself.
Be as honest as you can be about your actions and more importantly, your intentions behind your actions. Are you motivated by revenge, frustration, blame, spite, competition? Take note of your actions and intentions. It’s always good to write things down so they become clearer and get out of your system.
Take note and responsibility for your actions.
This can be hard for a lot of us, but until we see it and take ownership, there is no way we’re going to change it. This is especially true for many men who cannot admit to being wrong. If that’s you, check out Brene Brown’s TED talk on vulnerability.
Change your actions.
The final step is simple, but not easy. Simple in that you’ll only have to begin making small changes. Not easy in that these patterns that hold us back can be very hard to break!
Finally, if you’re going to be one of the few people who consistently look inside and see how they can change, first of all, good for you! We need more people like you! The more people who can admit to making mistakes, the better likelihood we will emerge from the cloud of inequality, chauvinism, sexism, ageism and all the other ‘isms none of us truly want. I help people all the time move through difficulty. If I can help you, please reach out. See you on the path!
Originally published on the author’s website.
