Emotional Control: Your Ticket to Empowerment

We’ve seen them in the news or in the supermarket. The person who throws a fit because their line isn’t moving fast enough, or the lady who attacked a McDonald’s employee when they didn’t have the food she wanted, or the man who drove recklessly, endangering his children when another driver flipped him off, are a few examples of people who lost emotional control. They made headlines, in a negative way.

Doing or saying the wrong thing in the midst of an emotional meltdown could have negative repercussion and painful long-lasting effects. For instance, if you say something your boss doesn’t like, you could be out of a job. If your hot-headed remarks scar your partner, they may leave you alone, and soon, leave you altogether. You end up jobless and without someone who cares for you.

When we engage with our thoughts, and choose what to do with what enters our mind, we can take back the power of negative emotions. After all, a negative thought you focus on brews negative emotions. When you focus on the negative, it grows in size. Life isn’t peaceful when that happens.

Gain control of your emotions with these strategies:

1. Realize negative emotions simply don’t last. If you’re angry about something right now, you’ll probably be over it by next year, next week, or even tomorrow. Emotions tend to focus our attention right here and now. We don’t consider the potential long-term consequences a temporary emotional state creates.

Who hasn’t done or said something in the heat of the moment that’s caused great remorse?
Your anger, fear, resentment, or other negative emotion will fade quickly enough. Your hasty response may not.

2. Examine your emotions. Learn to notice when you’re getting emotional. When you notice yourself reacting strongly, ask yourself why. Try to label the emotion with its direct name: Sadness, frustration, annoyance, disappointment. When you do this you provide your brain with a reasonable way to examine the why behind the emotion.

Analyze why you’re feeling particular emotion and then admit it to yourself. This way, you can avoid rationalizing your behavior, which is a nice way of saying “lie to yourself.”
If you know the real reason you’re feeling the way you do, you’re more able to do something about it.

3. Create space. Many of the challenges created by our emotions could be eliminated if we could just take a moment before reacting. Getting upset isn’t something that happens to us. It’s something we do to ourselves, and some of us are fairly good at it.

Find a pause in the panic of emotion. Practicing a pause gives you a moment to collect yourself before you allow emotional surges to take place. Own your moments!

4. Find a role model. Find someone who is better at something than you are and use the examples as a mentorship. Learn emotional control from those who maintain their composure regardless of the circumstances.

When you find such a person, ask them how they do it. The answers you receive could make all the difference.
If you can’t find someone in real time, read a book about someone who you admire. Look at their life and see if you can gain insight into how and why they have accomplished their goals despite emotional strain.

5. Find a healthy way to release negative emotions. Our actions can influence our moods. If you’re feeling bored while watching TV, there’s no reason to continue watching TV. Immediately get up and go for a walk. Go to the library and find an interesting book. Call a friend. Exercise is a great way to release energy.

You don’t have to passively accept your mood. Go do something else and change it.
Join a support group!
Motion creates emotion. If you move in a way to raise your energy level, your emotions will rise with you. It’s a personal empowerment you can tap into every single minute of the day.

6. Try altering your breathing. Many people assume emotions are entirely psychological, but there is a physical component. Realize all emotions are ultimately experienced as physical feelings in your body. You’ve just learned to label certain body feelings with names like “anger” and “fear.”

The only part of your physiology, which can be easily controlled is your breathing. Take a look at how you’re breathing during a strong emotional response and change it.
A few ideas you can try are holding your breath for 5 seconds, breathing deeply and slowly for 30 seconds, breathe in slowly and breathe out even more slowly.
Another idea is to put your hand on your abdomen, and as you inhale for 5 seconds, feel your hand move outward, and then hold for 5 seconds, release for 8 seconds as your hand then moves back toward your spine. This technique is used in grounded exercises to help you maintain your calm state of mind.
Think about your breathing and count your breaths. Focus on the physical feelings of the air moving in and out of your body.

. . .

If you’re used to being controlled by your emotions, you know it’s not easy to maintain your composure. With the tools above, you can choose to respond differently to your emotions and make wiser choices.

Negative emotions exist to inform us of potential trouble. They are not there to control us. See them as little warning flags for you, to help you catch the opportunity to shift. Your perspective is what will make or break your success.

~Just a thought by Pamela

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This post was previously published on Change Your Mind Change Your Life.

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