If you asked me what is one of the biggest problems hurting the world, then I’d say it is the lack of empathy people show one another every day.
Look at what bombards our eyes on television and social media platforms. Listen to what our ears hear if all we are dialed into is news talk radio shows.
Tell me.
Do you see empathy rolling out like a red carpet? Do you feel empathy when you see images of James Blake being shot seven times in the back? Do you feel empathy when you see a cop kneeling on the neck of George Floyd? Do you feel empathy when you see a 17-year-old kid with an AR-15 walking through the streets of Kenosha, Wis., shooting and killing protesters while police officers seemingly give him a pass for his actions?
Do you feel empathy when you see political and religious leaders falling way, way short of their promises? Do you feel empathy for those hospital nurses and assisted living caregivers for the elderly who have to stay in their rooms or buildings because of the coronavirus pandemic? Do you feel empathy for the men and women who die from overdoses every single day? Do you feel empathy for your neighbor?
Here’s the big one.
Do you have the ability to feel empathy toward yourself, the person whose faults and failures might be so heavy that they look like a Sword of Damocles hanging over your head?
Admittedly, that’s a lot to take in. Empathy will make you sit your butt down and feel into all of this. You might not feel anything, yet, an empath feels everything.
Men who are attuned so beautifully to their emotional states are called “soft” and “not man enough” by those whose testosterone levels might be higher along with their egos. If that’s you — the one with an ego problem, then take a powder and read author Ryan Holiday’s masterful work, “Ego Is The Enemy.”
Stuffing emotions down into a man’s stomach is only going to make him feel more uncomfortable.
This is what we, as men and women, have been taught and conditioned to do over decades. You know the sayings…”Suck it up,” “Big boys (girls) don’t cry,” “Don’t let me see you whining,” and many others.
Approaching life with this tough-as-nails attitude might work for some people, yet not everyone is emotionally built the same way.
According to Merriam-Webster’s dictionary, empathy is defined as “the action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experience of another of either the past or present without having the feelings, thoughts, and experience fully communicated in an objectively explicit manner.”
Hmm, let’s ponder this subject a little more.
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Empathy is worth feeling not only toward others but toward yourself, too. Let me be clear: I’m not talking about going full-on narcissist with being empathic. That’s going way overboard and, actually, doesn’t even show signs of caring or compassion toward other people.
Apparently, being empathic or, even worse, an empath is not cool with a lot of people. Just look around at society in general. It doesn’t matter if it is in the middle of a global pandemic or as seasons change from summer to fall. Empaths have these “spidey-senses” that lie beneath the surface where they can feel other peoples’ feelings and emotions rather acutely.
An empath’s abilities to do so either can be used for good or ill. I’d hope that one with these emotional traits could learn that they are worthy to share insights and intuitive notions with those close to them.
Why does empathy get a hall pass these days?
I think it’s because people would rather yell and scream instead of truly listening to what’s going on inside their minds, hearts, and souls. Look at all the world-famous entrepreneurs who clamor about the “hustle culture” of working 24 hours, seven days a week, 365 days per year in order “to make your dreams come true.” Sure, I believe in working and getting things done…yet at what cost to your life.
You and I get so lost in our worlds that we fail to look at or, even worse, get outside on beautiful blue-sky days, look around, take a deep breath, and say “thank you.” Thank you for being alive, thank you for the blue skies, thank you for the fresh air, thank you for your heart beating.
Taking yourself too damn seriously is a soul-killing proposition. I admit that this is one of my biggest faults in my own life… and I have a propensity for calling myself out when writing, so get used to it. Yes, I do love to laugh and enjoy time with people who mean a lot to me. I am still a work in progress… and you are, too, whether you believe it or not.
It’s not always easy to do, though, because you and I are so goal-focused that we lose the path to becoming soul-focused…and empathy plays a role in getting in touch with your soul.
Empathy is not something you roll out of bed, thank the world for, have some eggs and bacon, and away you go with the day. It’s not something you can check off your to-do list and move along to the next meeting, Zoom call, or whatever. This has to become a learned part of your life.
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Photo Credit: @timmarshall on Unsplash