Dearly Beloved, we are gathered here today to mourn the passing of my multicolored outdoor light strand. The light strand has finally gone to the giant garage door in the sky.
Born in the year 2001, the outdoor light stand had been with me for my entire existence as a homeowner, a father, and cheese enthusiast. And although the light strand did not share my love of the cheddar, I often spent many an hour eating that cheese and watching how the light strand decorated my home.
They began decorating my first home back when I still had hair and it still had its original fuses. They danced with blue, red, and orange lights. The orange that matched the cheese that I also loved so much.
But the years were not kind to the outdoor light strand. We aged together, and when I brought home my first child, the light strand was there. As I lost my hair, it lost its fuses. When my gut began to expand, its bulbs began to burst. And as each one of my children were welcomed into the world, the light strand and I grew a little bit feebler.
By the end, I had replaced nearly every bulb with whatever was on sale the day after Christmas. Instead of well-coordinated lights that looked like a rainbow guiding Saint Nick, 6 blues or 5 greens all in a row took over that job. But it was ok because that light strand and I believed in the forever.
When its fuses would blow, I would hustle down to the hardware store and buy 3 different kinds to replace them with because I could never remember what was the right one. And when I would forget to take them down until February, the light strand carried on in a time when the holidays were forgotten. They were a reminder that miracles still exist on Christmas.
I don’t know what happened in the end. Whether it was finally just old age or a mouse in the basement, the light strand couldn’t carry on this year. After 20 years of dedicated service, the power was gone from the strand and my heart. Perhaps they had been stapled through the middle one too many times, or maybe the Lord decided he needed something to make the pearly gates of Heaven a little more festive.
Whatever the case, the twinkle is now gone from my home and as a cliché father, that twinkle has also left my eye. The end of a 20-year relationship always leaves a hole in your soul. And as I sat in my dad chair with my random fuses and circuit testers, I pleaded with the light strand to just keep working. Please, just keep working. But alas, it was not to be.
The light strand liked to spend its summer vacation in a box down in the basement where it would tell stories to the old mattress about magical Christmas mornings. In the fall, the light strand would become excited that it was almost time to shine. When December rolled around, it proudly outlined my garaged door. It was synced with the song Carol of the Bells and oh, how it played. Until Spring, with regret it began its long journey. Well, my friend, you are on your last journey now.
There are many things that make me a father. The fact that I have three kids is probably the most important one. I guess without that, I wouldn’t be a father, just a creepy old dude that had an obsession with keeping this string of lights working so long. But also, the fact that I worked tirelessly every year to make sure this light strand stood out among all the other holiday cheer. Honestly, every other house looked like garbage when my light strand was up.
Oh, there was fancier technology than my light strand. LED, long-lasting, and even sophisticated lights that could be controlled with an app. But I preferred my light stand. It gave off so much heat that I’m a bit surprised the house didn’t burn down. Its bulbs looked like vacuum tubes and every once in a while, a playful spark would erupt from the outlet that I plugged it into.
So, this holiday season, as you enjoy your egg nog with family you can’t stand, take a minute to remember my outdoor light strand from the year 2001. It was a different era back then, and we liked it that way. Perhaps my new lights will serve me just as well.
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This Post is republished on Medium.
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Photo credit: iStock