Look over here kids, I have flashcards!
About Shannon Carpenter
How I Survive in the Laundry Apocalypse
This laundry hellscape that our world has become happened much more quickly than one would have thought.
This laundry hellscape that our world has become happened much more quickly than one would have thought.
Tacos and Social Media: The Story Behind a Viral Tweet
Why this father doesn't believe his daughter is ready for Instagram.
Why this father doesn’t believe his daughter is ready for Instagram.
Never Argue with a Man’s Dog
In his world, there is a hierarchy. There's me, the great and powerful Dad. And then there is him, the dog that cleans up puke.
In his world, there is a hierarchy. There’s me, the great and powerful Dad. And then there is him, the dog that cleans up puke.
7 Ways to Avoid Hanging Up My Wife’s Shirts
No shirt made for any woman will ever stay on a hanger unless there is some sort of magic involved.
No shirt made for any woman will ever stay on a hanger unless there is some sort of magic involved.
Today, I Am the World’s Best Parent
I'm just like the celebrity on Instagram.
I’m just like the celebrity on Instagram.
I Love My Friends So Much, I’m Going to Punch Them in the Face
Because we are men, and men don't talk about how they feel.
Because we are men, and men don’t talk about how they feel.
The Ninth Circle of Customer Service
Maybe you can call back ten or twelve times and then we can think about helping you.
Maybe you can call back ten or twelve times and then we can think about helping you.
Fatherhood Is Priceless, but So Is That Antique Chair
I've made better choices in life.
I’ve made better choices in life.
True Love Looks Like Flaming Car Seat Covers
Immediately tell your wife how to feel, and I'm sure it will work out for you as well as it did for me.
Immediately tell your wife how to feel, and I’m sure it will work out for you as well as it did for me.
Flexing Through Fatherhood
Maintaining the peace with all the false confidence of a false prophet.
Maintaining the peace with all the false confidence of a false prophet.
Rolling Heads in Dungeons and Dragons
When I’m lucky, who I was and who my kids are line up perfectly.
When I’m lucky, who I was and who my kids are line up perfectly.
What My Daughter Will Never Know
She'll never know that her father is only big and strong because she thinks so.
She’ll never know that her father is only big and strong because she thinks so.
Dad’s Pot of Gold
Kidney stones cannot be intimidated.
Kidney stones cannot be intimidated.
How I Know I Am a Father
Because no one else knows how to use a plunger.
Because no one else knows how to use a plunger.
Which One of You Took the Purple Pacifier?
My sanity depends on the purple paci!
My sanity depends on the purple paci!