Our children are born with a primal instinct to smash our privates. I think it’s an evolutionary thing to prevent further competition from being conceived.
About Shannon Carpenter
Has Fatherhood Made Me Dumb?
I used to know what Hawking's Radiation is. Now I forget to zip up my pants.
I used to know what Hawking’s Radiation is. Now I forget to zip up my pants.
Watching Award Shows With Our Daughters
So, okay, I'm not a fan of current pop culture. But I am a fan of spending time with my daughter.
So, okay, I’m not a fan of current pop culture. But I am a fan of spending time with my daughter.
The Value Of A Good Henge
A henge is a more than just stones, it's an adventure.
A henge is a more than just stones, it’s an adventure.
11 Things I’m Grateful for This Holiday Season
Hugs given to dad as Christmas presents. Let's be honest, that's really the only thing he wants and is the perfect fit every time.
Hugs given to dad as Christmas presents. Let’s be honest, that’s really the only thing he wants and is the perfect fit every time.
Don’t Give Dad a Bro-Hug
These are the lessons that we need to teach our sons. That showing affection for one another is what the strong do.
These are the lessons that we need to teach our sons. That showing affection for one another is what the strong do.
Dad Magic and Christmas Lights
Doubting dad is bad karma.
Doubting dad is bad karma.
Dad’s Last Dance With Mary Jane
If Nirvana was still touring today, they would schedule a special stop at my house to punch me in the face.
If Nirvana was still touring today, they would schedule a special stop at my house to punch me in the face.
It’s Thanksgiving. Let’s Pick a Fight.
If things get dicey, protect the pumpkin pie at all costs.
If things get dicey, protect the pumpkin pie at all costs.
I’m an Unemployed At-Home-Dad. Or Am I?
After all, we all know parenting is more of a hobby.
After all, we all know parenting is more of a hobby.
The Secret Conversations Between a Father and His Daughter
"I will never be outdated. I am dad. I am eternal."
“I will never be outdated. I am dad. I am eternal.”
The Béarnaise Sauce of Fatherhood
Can dad cook a fancy meal? Yes, but you won't eat it.
Can dad cook a fancy meal? Yes, but you won’t eat it.
Help! My Daughter Doesn’t Want to Go Trick-or-Treating Anymore!
What do I need to do to make my little girl little again? Halloween is our jam and has always been.
What do I need to do to make my little girl little again? Halloween is our jam and has always been.
10 Tips for New Dads and Babies
Welcome to Fatherhood! It's new, it's exciting, and there is going to be a lot of poop.
Welcome to Fatherhood! It’s new, it’s exciting, and there is going to be a lot of poop.
An Escape Room Without an Escape
When a simple birthday party turns into something much more sinister.
When a simple birthday party turns into something much more sinister.
Bad Fathers Are the Reason for Horror Movies
A father should know that a 200-year-old haunted house is going to have foundation issues.
A father should know that a 200-year-old haunted house is going to have foundation issues.