Another celebrity couple is headed for divorce, Sofia Vergara and Joe Manganiello. After seven years of marriage, Joe has filed for divorce citing irreconcilable differences.
I only had a few serious relationships, and non had gone beyond three years, I guess, with gays like dog years, the ratio is 7:1.
I am just teasing.
Nothing can prepare anyone with the death of a relationship, because divorce is all about — death.
Every relationship starts with the thought that it will last forever, but love isn’t sufficient as a wise friend told me a long time ago.
Recently two gay couples made public that they are separating or heading for divorce, Ricky Martin and Billy Porter with their husbands.
Because gay couples don’t escape the 7-year itch.
. . .
The 7-year itch
Have you ever heard of the infamous seven-year itch? It’s that point in a long-term relationship where couples often find themselves questioning their love, feeling a tinge of restlessness, and wondering if the grass might be greener on the other side.
Well, let me tell you, my friend, it’s not just a Hollywood cliché; it’s a real phenomenon that many couples experience.
. . .
The Itch Strikes
Let me share a story with you. Meet Bob and John, a loving gay couple who have been together for seven adventurous years when they had to make a big decision.
I met them when they were my passengers on the cruise ship.
When I met them they were still traveling together. They also share a house and a business. They have remained friends even if they were no longer a couple.
They met in a bustling coffee shop, a serendipitous encounter that ignited sparks from the very first glance. The early days were magical, filled with laughter, spontaneous road trips, and plenty of sweet surprises.
However, as their seventh year rolled around, an unexpected itch crept into their relationship.
They found themselves arguing over petty things, feeling unfulfilled, and even fantasizing about what life might be like with someone else.
It was a challenging time, and yet in the end, they chose to still be friends. Not all couples who end up separating become bitter enemies.
. . .
The Psychology Behind the Itch
According to research, the seven-year itch is a stage where the initial infatuation and passion begin to wane. It’s a natural part of the relationship cycle, and it often occurs when the honeymoon phase gives way to reality.
You see, during those initial years, our brains are flooded with feel-good chemicals like dopamine and oxytocin, which make us feel like we’re on cloud nine. But as time goes on, these neurochemicals take a backseat, and we start to see our partner in a more realistic light — quirks, imperfections, and all.
Biological Basis
. . .
The Scientific Data: Verified and Validated
Let’s back it up with some scientific data, shall we? Research published in the Journal of Marriage and Family found that the likelihood of divorce is indeed higher around the seven-year mark. Some even say it is actually in the 4th year when things go south.
But here’s the twist — it’s not necessarily a death sentence for the relationship. In fact, many couples weather the storm and come out stronger on the other side.
. . .
Reasons Behind the Itch
So, why does the seven-year itch strike? Well, it could be due to a variety of reasons:
Familiarity Breeds Restlessness: The novelty of the relationship wears off, and some couples may find themselves craving excitement and novelty.
Life Transitions: Around seven years, couples often experience significant life changes, such as having children, moving, or shifting career paths. These transitions can add stress to the relationship.
Neglecting the Relationship: As life gets busier, partners may inadvertently neglect their emotional connection, leading to feelings of disconnection.
Unresolved Issues: Lingering conflicts that were brushed under the rug may resurface and demand attention.
. . .
Nurturing the Love: How to Avoid the Itch
Now, let’s talk about how to avoid the itch and reignite the love:
Communication is Key: Open, honest communication is vital. Don’t shy away from discussing your feelings and needs with your partner.
Quality Time: Make time for each other, even amidst the hustle and bustle of life. Plan date nights or engage in activities you both enjoy.
Embrace Change Together: Accept that change is inevitable and face life’s transitions as a team.
Seek Support: If the itch becomes overwhelming, consider seeking couples therapy to work through your challenges together.
. . .
To Divorce or Not to Divorce?
Should everyone divorce after seven years? Absolutely not! Divorce should never be the default option.
Every relationship is unique, and while the seven-year itch can be challenging, it can also be an opportunity for growth and renewal.
Many couples emerge from this phase with a deeper understanding of each other and a stronger bond.
As for celebrity couples, something that should remain private becomes very public and it only adds to the stress of divorce.
But when gay couples separate does society at large as interested with CIS celebrity couples?
Very little had been said on social media, about Ricky Martin and his husband.
Although recently, a tweet by Ricky had ignited rumors that maybe, not all is lost between the former lovers, when Ricky Martin on social media called Juan — HBB, a term of endearment.
. . .
Final words
The Journey of Love. In the end, the seven-year itch is just a chapter in the grand journey of love. It’s normal to experience ups and downs, doubts, and uncertainties.
But if both partners are committed to nurturing the flame, they can rediscover the magic that first brought them together. Embrace the itch, face it head-on, and let it be a catalyst for growth and renewal in your relationship.
After all, love is not just about the beginning; it’s about the entire adventure you embark on together.
As I sit here, I wonder what will happen to me and my current partner. It calls for a lot of work for a relationship to work.
We are in our second year, well that’s in a few days.
Our love story has been a tapestry of ups and downs, laughter, tears, and a lot of growth.
And as long as no one is quitting, we can stay together and stay in love.
Thank you for reading.
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This post was previously published on Nap and PhiPhi.
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