Feeling Guilty About Moving On

So, I’ve had this draft sitting in my Google Keep forever, and I just couldn’t figure out how to write it out and publish it.

But today, something clicked while I was chatting with a client.

She went through a breakup about six months ago, and we’ve only been in therapy for a month.

Honestly, she’s been super perceptive — she understands everything so well. She knows all the reasons why it ended and even agrees it was the best choice.

But then, out of nowhere, she said, “I don’t want to forget him. How can I do this to him?”

I was like, what?

That’s when I realized she was carrying this guilt, feeling like moving on meant she’d be forgetting him.

Even though she doesn’t want to go back or fix anything, she thinks it would be wrong to move on and be happy again.

It’s like she’s trapped in this guilt she made for herself.

I totally relate to this. I’ve realized that suffering and pain often feel like the last connection I have with someone I love so much.

When we go through something so significant, those feelings of hurt and longing can feel like the only remnants of a relationship that once meant everything.

Letting go can feel like losing the last piece of them that we have, and that’s scary.

It reminded me of something I wrote before:

“We wear our pain and suffering like a badge of pride.”

And honestly, that’s so true.

A lot of us feel letting go is like being dishonest or betraying the love we had, even when we have really good reasons to move on.

Can you relate to this?

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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