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I watched the Congressional Supreme Court Nomination Committee hearing testimony from witness Dr. Christine Blasey Ford, when I came home from work that evening. I also watched Dr. Ford’s opening statements before the Committee before I had to leave for work in the morning.
She confessed, “I’m a little afraid…” I got that she was so very brave. Her voice was authentic, as she was. She called out Supreme Court Nominee Brett Kavanaugh as her sexual assaulter to heal herself and speak her conscience. Since the alleged sexual assault by then 17-year-old Brett when she was 15 years old, she has suffered immensely.
Dr. Ford is currently a Clinical Psychology Professor at Palo Alto College and on Research Staff at Stanford University. She’s married and has children. Yet, since the assault, which she kept secret during her youth and young adulthood, she said has experienced anxiety and severe panic attacks.
As much as Republican Senate leaders accuse the Democrat leadership of derailing Brett Kavanaugh’s Supreme Court Nomination as character assassination, I personally don’t get it. In this inspired #Metoo cultural climate, on a very human level, I got that Dr. Ford acted out of good conscience, to right the possible wrong. Granted the Congressional Hearing was not intended as a court trial.
However, the Committee kind of screwed the legitimacy of the proceedings by failing to conduct an FBI investigation prior to the testimony. That might be rectified now that President Trump has ordered the week-long FBI investigation of this alleged incident in the aftermath of the hearings.
I was in awe that Dr. Ford, the survivor of alleged sexual assault over 35 years ago, really had nothing to gain in giving her testimony. In fact, she had everything to lose. She acted out of her sense of honor, and, perhaps, to heal her soul.
Announcing yourself to the world is extremely terrifying, particularly when about half the world doesn’t like you. What if the world doesn’t believe you as well? More to the point: The world seems less likely to believe you when you have two X chromosomes instead of XY. Supposedly, we live in more enlightened times. Let us all hope so.
Dr. Ford appears to have suffered greatly since the alleged sexual assault. When Justice Kavanaugh emerged as the frontrunner Nominee to the Supreme Court, she sent her letter voicing her concerns to Senator Diane Feinstein, who eventually received Dr. Ford’s letter around August or September 2018—that’s as close as I could follow.
Some of the information in Dr. Ford’s letter was leaked or made available to the press and public. Consequently, both Dr. Ford and Justice Kavanaugh received ‘death threats’ along with associated Social Media smears. For her safety, Dr. Ford and her family were forced to leave their home to reside with various friends and family. Kavanaugh’s life was also turned upside down. Dr. Ford’s apparently more so. As for her testimony being possibly politically motivated? WTF.
Dr. ford voiced herself in the culture that seemingly views her as lesser than. Senior Committee Senator Orin Hatch said after her opening statements that Dr. Ford was “not un-credible” and an “attractive witness”. Senator Hatch had since recanted his assessment. Again, WTF.
In Dr. Ford’s testimony, she described the events of the alleged sexual assault at the house party in Washington D.C. with a friend of hers when she was 15 years old. At the time Brett was 17. Note that both were minors. At the party, Brett and his friend Mark Judge were both visibly inebriated. They were drunk. Christine had one beer. Brett and Mark had way more.
When she went upstairs to use the bathroom someone pushed her into a bedroom—she didn’t see who it was. According to Dr. Ford, Brett and Mark came into the bedroom and locked the door behind them. Brett pinned Christine on the bed groping her and attempting to take off her clothes. Brett covered her mouth with his hand, so she couldn’t scream. All the while Mark sat beside, as both of them laughed. Eventually, Christine escaped when she and Brett fell off of the bed. That’s the basic account of the incident.
In the questioning phase of the Congressional Hearing, Senator Patrick Leahy asked Dr. Ford, “What was your strongest memory of the incident?”
Christine replied, “The uproarious laughter between the two… Their laughter at my expense…” This was while Brett was on top of her, and Mark was beside them.
I cried. I cried for her. Teenaged Christine was laughed at as lesser than. She was powerless to do anything to stop this. I know that feeling. I was 8 years old when Dad terrified me as he yelled at me. I was powerless. He was way stronger than I was. Whatever I could do would only make it worse for me—I might get beaten. In Christine’s case, she literally feared for her life at the mercy of her drunken assaulters. She was a lot braver than she knew. Though I know that holds very little consolation.
No one needs to suffer in silence as Christine did. No one. As for the possible excuse that her alleged abusers were young and stupid at the time: Total bullshit.
In his own defense, Brett Kavanaugh said he never sexually assaulted Christine and that he was never at that party. Okay.
There are at least 2 other women, who have accused Kavanaugh of sexual assault in college in equally heinous acts all alleging too that he was drunk at the time. Okay, again.
I understand that this is not a jury trial, nor part of the due process with everyone presumed innocent until proven guilty. I got it. Let’s do the math here. In all 3 alleged assaults, Brett was described as inebriated or intoxicated. He contends that all incidents never occurred. Could it be possible that Brett was so fucking drunk that he didn’t even remember what he did? Not remembering doesn’t make it not so.
At the Committee Hearing Brett admitted that he drank in high school and that he drank in excess at times. Brett said, “Yes, we drank beer… Sometimes we drank too many beers.” Okay, again.
Regarding the legitimate revelation of this sexual assault, Brett argued that he’s had several background checks in his tenure as Federal Judge. Well Brett, security background checks only cover the years after college. There are no standard background checks for high school years.
Doing the math the “he said, she said” scenario plays itself out. Brett is the brilliant judge who was the entitled party boy, who didn’t give a fuck about anybody, but himself. Good for him that he’s now the Federal Court Judge, responsible family man, and Man of God.
Dr. Ford is also accomplished, doing her very best to heal from her trauma when she was 15 years old. I would presume that she might have become a clinician so that she could help others like herself, who suffered trauma.
I could feel anger for Brett Kavanaugh’s apparent inhumanity and cruelty. I really don’t. I’ve gotten that anger serves no purpose. However, I would like to teach him “The Art of Taking Falls” in Aikido for a couple of hours. Mostly, I kid. Mostly.
As the proclaimed Man of God, he shall have his day of reckoning; he shall have to make his own peace. What’s more important to me is Dr. Ford’s freedom to be.
I have both profound sadness and admiration for Dr. Christine Blasey Ford’s courage. She’s my Hero. She acted out of compassion in the world that showed her very little compassion. I get what it is to announce yourself to the world so that you can heal thine own self. Sometimes the world can be unkind. Yet, you endure. You do what’s right. You do what’s in your heart.
Dr. Christine Blasey Ford’s voice has made a difference for others. According to Time Magazine, The National Sexual Assault Hotline spiked 147% during the Supreme Court Nomination Hearings. She inspired thousands of others to come forward with their experiences of sexual abuse. Christine did so all despite being afraid. That’s the Hero. The Hero inspires others to be brave in the face of fear.
Dr. Ford is the brave intelligent kind woman. What strikes me most: She has a good soul. And her soul has suffered, because of the acts of another. I know how that goes from when I was a child. She has gifted profound and generous service in altering our culture for the good. Bless Dr. Christine Blasey Ford.
Mostly, I hope that Dr. Ford continues to heal, that she discovers her own measure of peace. She deserves that. We all deserve our own measure of peace.
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