We are living in a time of unprecedented divisiveness that seems to be deeply rooted in the two political parties within the USA. It seems more often than not when someone espouses an opinion, perspective, or view that someone else disagrees with, they are attacked with a barrage of ugly words.
It appears to be running amock on social media although it has spilled out into everyday life in stores, airports, and schools. The loud and aggressive voices take over and become the narrative of divisions that are being played out with family and friends.
There has rarely been a time in history when so many social injustices converged and beckoned for support from those with the loudest voices. The belief that the squeaky wheel gets attention is alive and well at many of the demonstrations that have been organized across the country.
Silence is the most powerful scream.
-Unknown
When the voices are raised in support of one side and opposition to another side of a subject, it lends itself to severe reactions and not responses. When people are inflamed over an injustice they tend to have big emotions that come out in what and how they say things. As a result, the people who value the other side of the argument are more likely to engage in aggressive reactions.
In order for people to experience more responses to what they say, they must take back some of the emotions from their messages. This is very challenging when lives are at stake and yet it will change the course of the interactions. Reactions are impulses without any mindfulness while responses are intentional with a moment of silent reflection.
These two options for engaging with someone with an opposing position remain yours to choose from in any conversation or debate.
Listen to silence. It has much to say.
-Rumi
It seems now more than ever that taking a moment of silence and reflecting on the things we are most passionate about might very well prepare us for responding the next time we read or hear something that triggers our ego and its need to attack and defend.
The ego is not found in silence rather the soul is deeply rooted in the stillness and silence that we can all achieve when we slow our breath rate and tune into the present moment. The ego has a role to protects us when we feel we are being threatened. The soul reminds us of when we are safe.
Whenever I talk with someone who has an opposite or opposing opinion to mine, I always look for the 20% overlap or what we have in common. This is almost always embedded in the core values of another person. It has never shown up in the ego, yet.
With this in mind, it is in the silence that I can listen to the other person and find the things that we have in common. When my voice is loud and overpowering, I cannot listen to find the overlap.
Silence in this way shows strength and avoids conflicts that lead to severe consequences like alienation and rejection.
Strength in remaining silent is a tall order for many people who often find themselves in the thick of things like drama, trauma, and chaos.
Silence can send the strongest of messages.
-Unknown
At a time when many people perceive silence as abdicating to the opposition in controversy, the reality is that some silence is needed to garner the strength to articulate the proof, evidence, and facts that are needed to dispel the irrational assertions.
As more and more conversations take place in the coming days, weeks and months, it is with some silence that we can all hear the most important parts of what we need to know to support and protect any of the social injustices that are being played out in cities across the country.
It seems to me that getting comfortable with silence may be a massive challenge for some people, and only in accepting that challenge and integrating new ways of behaving can we call change how we interact with each other on social media or in person.
Are you willing to test Silence as a way of showing your Strength when interacting with people who see the world differently from you?
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