More often than not, we become a member of a club because we intentionally set out to meet the criteria required to be considered and hopefully accepted.
There are fun clubs that we seek to become a member of so that we enjoy a life experience in enhanced ways.
Book clubs are where we learn from our clubmates through rigorous discourse about the words written by a specific author. Being in a book club expands our learning about what is in the book and enhances our experiences with it.
Another fun club might be a social club where you meet people who have a shared interest or mindset. When we socialize with people who tend to see the world in similar ways to ourselves, we feel safe and supported. Being in a social club builds our confidence in what we think and how we express it.
People tend to join clubs where there is a shared interest in a hobby or activity that is more fun to do with other people. People in a club who enjoy cooking or hiking might very well find the experience accentuated by sharing it with other people. Being in a club focused on a hobby or activity gives us the chance to become better at whatever it is we do together in the club.
There are clubs that we become members of without applying or even having any interest or desire in joining.
I think one of the first, if not the first clubs, that I realized I was a member of without even applying to join was when I realized as a child that I was gay. I didn’t know what it meant at first and I was certain based on the noise around me that it was not going to be a fun club.
I have been a member of the LGBTQ community for more than 63 years and I am grateful every day for the support that I have received and for the ways in which I get to pay it forward to others who might find themselves in the club unwittingly and struggling with it.
On August 7, 2021, I became a member of a club that I never had any interest in being a part of when my MOM passed away. I felt a sense of loss that was unparalleled in any of my previous life experiences which included the death of my grandparents.
Within a matter of an hour or so I was being consoled by one friend after another who said the same shocking thing to me. They said the words, you are an orphan now without your MOM. I was speechless when I knew I couldn’t argue with them that I had just joined a club who are now parent-less.
Most recently, I was thrust into a club where too many people join after hearing the devastating words, you have cancer. When I answered the phone that morning, I knew it was from my specialist and what I did not know was that he was going to say those words to me.
Never have I been so grateful for my habit of active listening than in that moment that followed his message. I reflected back to him what I heard in my own words, I heard you say I have been diagnosed with cancer. I was unwilling at that moment and every moment since, to say the words I have C. I will not follow an I statement with the big C-word.
Being an openly gay man who is now orphaned and was recently given a cancer diagnosis makes me a member of three clubs with members who show me unconditional love and acceptance, and those are some amazing benefits that I would not have had access to without being a part of them.
Clubs are places where we can experience fun and joy with other people and they are places where we can give and receive support for the things that we never thought we would go through much less could survive.
The one thing that I see that all clubs have in common is their fundamental principle to put people in each other’s path so that they can live and experience life with a greater sense of belonging and acceptance. And for that, I am massively grateful for the clubs that I have joined willingly and unwillingly.
What clubs support you in your life experiences?
How do you seek out becoming a member of a club?
What benefits do you derive from being a club member?
With much gratitude…
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