We have a situation now where men have been given the greatest gift they could have ever hoped for, and it’s also our greatest curse.
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It was only as little as 70 years ago that men had the gift of the opportunity to find a new purpose thrust upon them.
They may not have always wanted the purpose they’d been given before that, but for countless thousands of years men’s purpose was passed on to them, either in the service of their country/community or in their service to their family. This purpose was always rooted in survival and prosperity, for the survival of the country or the prosperity of the country, for the survival of the family or the prosperity of the family.
Men willingly took up this service. It’s hard wired biologically. We know the immortality of the human race depends on the survival and prosperity of both the family and the community. Yet this immortality came at the cost of personal sacrifice. Farmer, Hunter, Builder, Provider, Protector and Warrior, all paid the price no matter what their purpose, often with their lives, always with their labor. Power, status, prestige and glory were roads paved on the backs of those gone before and tax collectors with arms stretched out at every corner. I often hear of the might and power men wield over society but rarely do I hear of the responsibilities that came hand in hand with that power. Societies where men took power but not responsibility, those societies died, they are no more, those societies have ceased to exist. Always has this been true.
Women wanted a different sort of marriage, one based on partnerships rather than roles.
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Yet men woke up one day and things had changed. Wars started being measured by the number of men who died per gallon of oil, purpose was replaced by greed. Women wanted a different sort of marriage, one based on partnerships rather than roles. Workplaces changed, politics changed, almost no stone remained unturned. Farmer and hunter were replaced by machines. Builder and provider are no longer the solely male roles. Protector and Warrior became synonymous with killer, rapist and plunderer. Job by job, role by role, society cut loose the original purpose of men. Women struck off on their own, seeking their own purpose in life in this era of great bounty, but suddenly men found themselves adrift. If there is no labor what is a man’s purpose? If women can secure the future as easily as a man then what is his purpose? If the only enemies left to fight are the shadows left by fear what is his purpose?
In casting off the purpose handed a man at birth, women set men adrift, no longer tethered to the shore, cursed us to not knowing the ground beneath our feet. Yet in casting off the purpose of man they gave him something he rarely had in all of human history gone before, a set of sails to steer his own course and an ocean yet to explore. He has no role models yet, no peg legged captain to show him the ropes. We are the first generation of men set free. We still largely huddle by the shore, the failures to launch, the timid and the unsure. Yet there is hope, there are the brave few who set sail and understand. There is no purpose thrust upon us now, we have to choose our own. We have to create it out of the ideals we hold in our hearts.
You have to create something that will probably take longer than you will live
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I know you can create your own purpose; I created my own a few years ago. It’s a hard thing to do; you have to create something that will probably take longer than you will live, and it has to be big, a Sistine chapel-size purpose. It’s going to be scaring the pants off you, you will be on your own, you won’t have a map or directions and those around you won’t understand. Yet it has to be worth it, something so that when you look back will give you a sense of achievement and something that when you look forward compels you to continue. You will lose your way, you will get lost, sometimes you will forget why you created it in the first place, but look forward and back, just for a second, and deep down you feel in that place where passion ignites the heart start to burn hot.
So please, those men who are adrift, those who are hugging the shore. Follow me, create your own purpose. There are currents, winds and adventure to find on this ocean large. Pick your course and let it follow your hearts true north. You have been given a gift only afforded to the rich in times gone past, and it is a gift, the freedom to choose one’s own destiny. It’s yours now, be brave, it’s only a curse if you fail to leave the shore.
*A minstrel was a medieval European bard who performed songs whose lyrics told stories of distant places or of existing or imaginary historical events. Although minstrels created their own tales, often they would memorize and embellish the works of others. The Modern Minstrel observes the world around him and shares it with us as lyrical story. This series was inspired by Luke Davis, whose eye for story and ear for lyrical prose are featured here.
Also by Luke Davis
What A Man Wants In A Marriage | What it Takes to See a Man’s Feelings | Have You Seen a Man’s Heart? | Why Date a Man Who Dances? |
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Photo: Getty Images
You believe women will keep men around now that we have “no purpose”. You are a fool. Give it a generation and see what happens.
Great article luke, recently let go of the shore. Yes there is no sure ground only what I bring to the journey Paddy