Society often tells us what is good and bad, what we should do and should not do. What are appropriate actions as a man or woman, parent or child?
And I don’t know about you, but this is what happens to me.
But some things shouldn’t make you feel ashamed; they’re never wrong based, in my view.
Because they’re natural and normal things to feel, and they don’t make you bad, wrong, or weird, in other words.
Here are five things we shouldn’t be ashamed of:
1. Having a “romantic side”
When I was younger, I was constantly told not to be trashy and over-sexualized, but as adults, based on my opinion, we should never be ashamed of having a romantic side.
For example, If I find myself attracted to someone else and don’t think it’s wrong or bad or weird to feel that way, it is normal and healthy.
And, as an adult, I shouldn’t feel ashamed of it.
I am not trashy or over-sexualized; I am simply a person who has been affected by the other person and is attracted to them.
I also deserve to feel loved and appreciated like anyone else.
And if expressing yourself brings you happiness and makes you feel good, you shouldn’t feel ashamed.
2. Being the fifth wheel
When I meet new people or make new friends, it is normal to feel a little anxious about myself because I am an introvert.
And if I don’t want to be the “fifth wheel,” then that’s fine. But it’s important not to feel ashamed because it’s my life and no one else has the right to tell me how to live it.
I know that I will not always be the life of the party or get invited out every time. That’s okay.
Not everyone has to be friends with everyone else. If I can open myself up to new people and let them into my life, that’s great, and if I feel more comfortable being a fifth wheel now and then, then that’s fine too.
That’s our choice; no one else’s.
3. Having a certain body type
Society often tells us that thin is in, and fat is out, and it’s just not true. You’re not fat; you’re normal! It’s never wrong or bad to have a specific body type.
And if you feel better about your body when you lose weight, gain weight, tone up, or whatever else, that’s fine.
And if you don’t feel better, it’s still okay. You’re still an average person, and everyone has their body type.
4. Feeling insecure about your appearance
If you feel insecure about how you look, it is normal to feel that way.
After all, other people are constantly staring at your body, and if they think it’s not good enough, you may do too.
But we should never feel insecure about our appearance because it is a normal and healthy part of our life.
We are not trashy or over-sexualized, and we should never feel ashamed if we have a specific body type.
And if our personality has caused others to comment on our looks, that’s okay too.
Sometimes people are not interested in conversing with someone when they see them on the street. That doesn’t mean we’re ugly, just that the other person isn’t interested.
5. Falling in love with the wrong person
If you’ve ever been in love, then you know how special and amazing it can feel.
And when we do fall for someone, it’s natural to want to be with them and start a relationship with them.
But if things don’t work out and the relationship starts going badly or your feelings change, then that’s okay too. We are not bad or weird people if we fall for the wrong person.
There are a lot of people in relationships that aren’t right for them, and they often cause a lot of stress and make you feel bad.
But whether or not the other person is good for you, it’s never wrong to have feelings for someone. It’s natural to feel that way.
And if your feelings change about the person, then it’s normal to have those feelings as well. You like who you like, and there is nothing wrong with that.
In conclusion, it’s never wrong for you to feel any of these things. They are just normal and healthy parts of life. No one has the right to tell you what is good or bad or to chastise you for feeling it.
You should never feel ashamed about having a romantic side, being on the fifth wheel, gaining weight, having a certain body type, or falling in love with the wrong person.
And if you do feel ashamed, guilty, or anything like that, then please don’t apologize for it! You should never have to.
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This post was previously published on MEDIUM.COM.
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You may also like these posts on The Good Men Project:
White Fragility: Talking to White People About Racism | Escape the “Act Like a Man” Box | Why I Don’t Want to Talk About Race | What We Talk About When We Talk About Men |
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