For Ukraine

I don’t know much about politics. Even with a gun pointed at my head, I wouldn’t be able to tell you the intricacies of global order and what makes the world tick. I can’t say why or how the current state of affairs got to be where it is, and not once have I seen Earth as some giant chessboard where the game is to be the last man standing. But that’s what it started feeling like with Russia’s recent invasion of Ukraine.

Call it selfishness, call it immaturity, call it whatever you like, but I never cared too much about the going’s on in society beyond events that directly affected me. I’m not here to justify that, or even apologise for it, it just is what it is. I’m young and I’m trying to figure my life out before I feel I can justly shoulder the weight of a family, a community, or a world. But I don’t know what it is about Ukraine. I don’t know what it is but some unconscious drive prompted me to look into what was going on, and seeing videos of cities being attacked, citizens leaving behind lives and dreams to start anew as refugees, I got this gut-sinking feeling that almost made me well up.

I’m not trying to be “brave” by posting this, nor do I expect it to make any difference. Who knows why I’m writing and posting this in the first place, then, because really, it has less of a therapeutic effect than other writing has for me, only making me come to terms with the futility of the situation and my position in it. I’m not saying I give up and I know damn well the people of Ukraine aren’t going to, but the more aware I become of the news, the more I feel I have to accept the sad fact that while people generally do want to do good by their neighbour, the decisions of a few prevent that from being possible.

And that has to be what it comes down to. The question of: why can’t people just be good to one another? I don’t have the answer to that, and the truth is, asking the question seems pointless. It just sounds too innocent, not grounded in any reality of our times. It’s a kind of doe-eyed six-year-old mentality, when the world’s still bubble gum and you need only bounce around in it. Once you grow up, the bubble gum pops and you find you’re surrounded by tall, pointy buildings, with cars that wheeze and rumble while every person rushes on their way, paranoid and impatient. That’s real, even if it’s ugly.

Thinking about it, maybe that’s why I never really cared too much for the news before. Maybe I just accepted the fact that shitty things happen in the world and well, hell, what’re you going to do about it? You going to curse nature for being nature? That’s not going to get you anywhere.

But no, that’s where I was wrong.

This isn’t a matter of nature doing what nature does. This is a matter of a few people making decisions that hurt a whole nation. Maybe that’s what spurred me into finding more out about Ukraine, maybe that innocent, doe-eyed six-year-old had had enough and was tugging at my conscience, saying, “No, people can be good to one another, and they should.”

I’d like to believe this is possible, and I hope the belief stays. Though, like I said, I’m still trying to figure myself out so it’s hard to remain in a frame of mind where I’m constantly cognisant of the misfortunes of others and doing my part to keep their suffering at bay. Even during the process of writing this, I had every freedom to take a step outside and walk around my placid and untouched neighbourhood, then to return home whenever I wanted to rest in the comfort of my room. Unless something drastic happens and where I live in Tokyo turns into a war zone, I expect I’ll always be able to enjoy such simple pleasantries most in the first-world take for granted.

In any case, it seems I’ve gone off track. I started writing this to show support but I never got there. Here it goes.

This is for Ukraine and its people, and all people everywhere who do what they can to be good to others. It sounds easy but we all know it’s harder than hell. I’m well aware a post like this does little — if anything — to ease the suffering of Ukrainians, but, unfortunately, for now it’s all I’ve got. Hope you’re all okay.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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