
Why Goal Setting Changed My Life
Today, I’ll discuss how to organise your life so that you truly accomplish the objectives you set for yourself.
Since I was 14 years old, I have been passionate about establishing goals. I felt like life was a little more interesting and that I could become more than I am now when I first learned about goal setting in 2010, and my first mentor began teaching me how to establish goals and work for them.
However, I’ve noticed that many people have trouble making goals, and they particularly have trouble accomplishing them.
And this is based on a remark from James Clear, which I adore since, although he didn’t invent this idea, he does discuss it in his book.
The quote says, “You don’t rise to the level of your goals, you fall to the level of your systems.”
And so, today we’re going to be talking about the systems that you have in your life to help you get to where you want to go.
When we look at goals, they are really good. And I do think that everybody needs to set goals, so you know what direction you’re heading in.
But there are 2 really big problems with goals. And goals are not inherently bad, just so you know.
- They give us something to strive for.
- They give us something to aim at.
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But goals can also come with limitations that, really, hold people back in subtle ways.
Goals are specifically outcome-oriented.
So, just being focused on getting to this one outcome can really hold you back. Goals focus on a specific result, which is good, but it can also be limiting.
Like, “lose 20 pounds” is that specific result. “Finish my novel” is that specific result. “Get a promotion” is that specific result.
And while there’s nothing wrong with wanting these goals, they place all of the emphasis on just the result and nothing else.
If you don’t hit your goal, it can make you feel like you’re a failure, and then make you less likely to want to set goals again and want to go for goals again.
It also, when you don’t hit a goal, kind of lowers your confidence. It breaks trust in yourself when you don’t reach that goal.
And so, if your goal, for instance, is to run a marathon, every day you train, you try to get better.
You might feel like you’re not quite there, but you’re getting a little bit better and a little bit better.
But you only actually succeed, quote unquote, “succeed,” when you cross the finish line.
That’s the limit with goals, is you only succeed when you cross the marathon finish line, or whatever finish line that goal is going for.
And so, the only time you succeed is when you accomplish that goal, which can really rob you of satisfaction from the entire process of becoming better and being proud of yourself.
#1: The first thing that goals can really hold you back with.
And the second thing is that goals don’t address long-term change in your life. And so, when you achieve a goal, you might actually just revert to your old habits.
For instance, what happens if you achieve your objective of losing the twenty pounds we just discussed? You’re likely to revert to the old behaviours that initially led to your weight gain if you don’t have a framework in place to sustain your improvement.
It’s not like you lose 20 pounds and they stay off forever. You have to have a system in place to keep it off.
And so, that’s why approximately 80% of people who lose 20 lbs or more gain it back within 2 years.
It’s because they think, “Oh, I achieved my objective.” I get to celebrate now. I get to have an extra piece of pizza now that I have a case of “I deserve it.” I’ll order an additional piece of pie.”
And then, over and over and over again, your habits go back to your old habits, and now you’re back to the same weight that you were.
And we will be right back.
- Systems work better at achieving goals.
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They work better to focus on your systems, and you’re more likely to achieve your goals if you focus on the systems.
And so, instead of putting all of the emphasis on the specific outcome, like finishing the marathon and crossing the finish line, a system emphasises the process that you have to go through to actually get there.
So, it’s about building a routine or a framework that leads to consistent improvement.
If you do this, what’s crazy about it is that you’re more likely to actually hit your goals eventually.
And so, here’s the reason why systems are so powerful.
Number 1: Systems focus on what you can control.
So, while you can’t always control the outcome of the goal that you’re going for, you can control the actions that you take every single day.
So, for instance, instead of saying something like, “I want to write a book,” you can create a system where you write 500 words every single morning. That’s something that you can control.
And if you can’t get it in the morning, then you can move your schedule around to make sure you get it done before you go to bed.
But then you’re not focusing on just finishing the book, which seems like this big, daunting task. You’re just focusing on, hey, 500 words every single morning.
And so, this approach really puts the power back in your hands because it’s about showing up consistently. And that’s how you succeed, by being consistent.
The most successful people in the world are not the ones who just show up once or twice or a couple of times a week. They’re the most consistent people in the world.
So, if your goal is to run a marathon and you roll your ankle the week before, and because of it, you can’t run, well, you just failed.
And that usually makes people feel like… And when people don’t feel good, they’re less likely to go for goals again.
Then they feel bad about themselves, lose confidence in themselves, and all of that.
And so, a system would be better in this situation.
A system would be something like, “I’m going to run for 20 minutes every single day for a week, and then at the end of that week, every single week, I’m going to extend it by 5 minutes.”
And so, week one would be 20 minutes. Week two would be 25 minutes. Week three would be 30 minutes. Week four would be 35 minutes, and so on and so forth.
And eventually, you’ll be running and finding yourself cranking out 15 miles because it was just normal for you, because it’s just part of the system, the routine of your life.
And it goes back to that quote, which is, “The man who loves walking will go further than the man who’s running to hit a goal over the course of a lifetime.”
The man who loves walking will go further than the person who’s just like, “I’m trying to run a marathon.”
And so, that’s the first thing that makes systems so powerful, which is that it focuses really on what you can control.
You basically have no control over whether you roll your ankle. It could have been a pebble in the path. You failed to notice it. You feel like a failure because you were unable to cross the finish line because of what transpired.
Reason 2: Systems are so important because they build sustainable actions for your life.
And so, by focusing on daily or weekly actions, you naturally start to build actions and habits in your life that stick.
Therefore, if your objective is to eat healthier, for example, a method that would support that may include preparing meals every Sunday and then carrying a water bottle with you all day.
This is the biggest key to systems: that over time, these small, consistent daily actions start to become second nature.
They start to become who you are, and then the results will naturally start to flow from there.
Reason 3: Systems are so important because they reduce your decision fatigue.
Like, you don’t realise how many decisions you have to make every single day and how every single decision takes a little bit of energy from you.
You don’t have to constantly wake up, decide what has to be done, and try something else when you rely on a system.
It’s just like, no, you just follow it. The system tells you what to do.
If you have a fitness regimen such as “I’m going to work out every weekday at 7 a.m.,” you won’t have to expend energy on scheduling. You’ve finished it already. It is a component of the system.
And just by doing that, you free up mental energy in other areas of your life.
And so, you can use that mental energy, the decision-making, for something in business later on today.
A few years back, I came upon this article. According to the report, Jeff Bezos only makes three choices per day.
He concentrates on that, yet these are the three most crucial choices he must make each day to grow both his life and his company.
Therefore, you may simply build up a system where you run every day, as we discussed, if you want to run more.
In order to achieve progressive overload, you add a few extra minutes or miles each week. You can genuinely begin to develop as a result.
It may sound insignificant, but reading about neurology and psychology has taught me that the less decision-making you have to do, the more likely you are to act. It facilitates activity.
Many people experience paralysis by analysis when faced with an increasing number of options or choices. There are too many things they could do, so they do nothing.
So, what I like to think of is less thinking, more doing.
Reason 4: Why systems tend to be so incredible for people over goal setting is that they allow you to celebrate your progress.
In the marathon example that I gave you, a lot of people would think that they are a failure if they don’t cross the finish line. So, the only thing that would make you succeed is crossing that finish line.
So, instead of waiting for the finish line to feel good, systems allow you to celebrate every single step along the way.
And so, run another 5 minutes this week, that’s a win. Run another 5 minutes next week, that’s a win. So, you’re always getting a lot more wins in the process.
When you get these wins, and you get excited about it, and you celebrate yourself, and you get proud of yourself, your brain releases dopamine when you’re celebrating your wins.
And dopamine is a chemical of motivation, which makes you want to do more.
When you get dopamine, you want more dopamine, which means you’re more likely to show up the next day.
So, each time you complete a part of your system, whether it’s writing for 30 minutes, practising a skill, learning a language, or completing a task, you get a sense of accomplishment.
And running a marathon, you kind of only really get the full sense of accomplishment when you’ve crossed the finish line.
And so, you’re getting all of these little wins across the way, which makes you more motivated to show up the next day.
And so, let me give you a few real-life examples of what this could look like in your life.
Let’s say that you want to be more mindful, right?
A goal approach would be, “I want to meditate for 30 minutes every single day.”
When you’re focused on your systems, it might just be like, “I’ll meditate for however long I can every morning after brushing my teeth.”
Even if it’s 2 minutes, that’s a win.
With the system, you’re not tied to this rigid outcome or thing that you have to do. Some days you might meditate for five minutes. Some days it might be 20 minutes.
The key point here is that you show up consistently and you integrate this routine into your daily routine.
Showing up consistently is how you will eventually win in life.
Let’s say another one is systems around fitness?
A goal approach would be like, “I want to work out five times a week.”
That means if you skip a session or two, you might feel like you failed, and you’re going to get discouraged, and you’re less likely to show up next week.
How many of you guys have done that before? “I’m going to work out five times this week,” and you work out three times, and you feel like a piece of…
You get mad at yourself, down on yourself, shame yourself, and then you don’t show up next week, and you quit.
Yeah, because you don’t make yourself feel good. You make yourself feel bad about it.
So, this makes you less likely to show up when you beat yourself up because you didn’t hit your quote-unquote goal.
A systems approach would be like, “I’m going to move my body every day, even if it’s just 5 minutes.”
The system focuses on creating a consistent habit of movement, whether it’s stretching, walking, running, going to the gym, or doing a full workout.
Over time, you’ll naturally build the routine of exercising regularly without the pressure of having to hit this fixed target.
And you’re more likely to, over the long run, get more movement than someone who’s like, “I have to work out five times a week,” most likely in most situations.
Another example would be if you want to learn a new skill.
Let’s say that you want to become fluent in French this year. That’s a goal approach. “I want to become fluent in French this year.”
That goal can seem very overwhelming for a lot of people, and it makes it really easy to procrastinate.
When it feels overwhelming, you’re more likely to procrastinate. And then, if you procrastinate, you’re more likely to quit because the progress feels slow.
A systems approach would be like, “I’m going to spend 10 minutes every day practising French on a language app.”
That’s it. If you’re focusing on consistency rather than progress, you’re more likely to eventually get fluent.
These small efforts compound into big results over time.
Another example, you want to write a book.
A goal approach would be like, “I want to write a 300-page novel this year.”
That’s a big deal. And if you fall behind schedule, it’s tempting to be like, “I’m too far behind. I’m just going to give up on this goal.”
A systems approach would be like, “I’m going to write 200 words every morning after my coffee.”
That’s it. All you have to do is just crank out 200 words. The system prioritises showing up consistently.
Even if your output’s small, if you end up throwing those 200 words away, writing just becomes part of your daily life, and the pages will start to add up over time.
Another example, you want to eat healthier.
A goal approach would be, “I want to stop eating junk food completely.”
And then, you have one night where you slip up, and you feel like you failed. It leads to guilt and shame, and you want to give up on yourself.
A systems approach would be like, “I’m going to add one serving of vegetables to every lunch and every dinner that I have.”
So, that system focuses on these small, manageable chunks and these tiny little steps to improve your diet, making you healthier because you’re showing up more consistently.
The last example would be something like building a better relationship with your spouse.
“I want to spend more quality time with my partner.” Then you get one busy week, and you forget to spend time with her. It leads to frustration and feelings of failure.
Then you get another busy week, or maybe you’re out of town, and you feel like a failure.
You just throw it off to the side because you don’t want to feel the guilt of, “Oh my gosh, I’m such a bad spouse.”
That would be a goal approach.
“Every night, right before we go to bed, I’m going to take ten minutes and check in with my partner and just ask them how their day was,” is an example of a systems approach. I want to establish a connection with them in that way.
Without the stress of organising events, taking a trip, or having to go on a Friday date night every week and then missing it because you have the kids or whatever, the system establishes this easy, repeating routine that deepens your bond.
So, it’s focusing on these systems, which are the most important.
And so, this is how you build your systems. Okay, it’s quite simple.
#1: The first thing you’re going to do is identify the desired outcome, the goal. So, you’re still going to want some sort of goal because it gives you some sort of direction that we’re trying to go to.
And so, while the systems don’t focus necessarily just on the goal, it gives you direction. So, you make sure you’re heading in the right direction.
And so, the first thing you’re going to do is identify whatever the outcome is that you’re working towards.
Better relationship, better body, better mindset, better mindfulness, whatever it might be.
#2: The second thing is you’re going to break it down into small daily habits.
Ask yourself, what small repeatable actions could lead to this outcome? What small repeatable actions could lead me to where I’m trying to get to?
If you want to improve your fitness, your actions might include daily stretching, going for a walk, or doing strength training as often as you possibly can. What are the small daily actions that you can do?
#3: The third thing is to make it specific and realistic.
Get really clear guidelines on your system, but also make sure you keep it flexible.
So, instead of saying, “I have to do this,” it’s like, “ what I want to do.”
So, instead of saying, “I have to meditate for 30 minutes every single day,” as we said, it’s like, “I’m going to meditate for as long as I can after brushing my teeth.”
And as you start to do that, you’ll become better and better at meditating and mindfulness, and you’ll go a little bit further.
And so, you’ve got to be specific with what you want, but you’ve got to be realistic.
It’s not like, “I’m going to brush my teeth and meditate for 2 hours after.” That’s probably not going to happen. So, make it specific, but realistic.
#4: The fourth thing is to track your progress.
The system, and the reason why you want to have it, is so that you’re staying consistent.
So, track your progress in some sort of way. Put it down in your calendar.
Have a notes tab in your phone where you can track and make sure that you’re doing it every single day.
#5: The fifth thing is to try to refine it whenever you feel like you need to.
Your system is not going to be perfect the first time that you set it up. You’ll learn what works. You’ll learn what doesn’t work.
Don’t treat yourself badly when it doesn’t work. Don’t make yourself feel horrible, shame yourself, or think, “I just learned something that doesn’t work for me.” I’ll make some changes regarding this.”
So, adjust it so that your system will eventually be as effective as possible, but also enjoyable in some sort of way.
And so, really, what it comes down to is the beauty of these systems, that success becomes a byproduct of your actions.
And when you focus on the process of what you’re trying to do, the results tend to take care of themselves.
The best part about this is that you don’t have to focus on success. You don’t have to focus on the result. You just focus on what you need to do today.
You don’t have to worry about tomorrow. You don’t have to worry about yesterday.
And eventually, success will be a byproduct of the actions that you take, which is essentially what’s important.
And it just makes it easier to continue to keep doing these things long term.
And anytime you can do something long-term, you’re eventually going to get to the success that you want.
So, that is how you set up systems instead of goals.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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Photo credit: Marcos Paulo Prado on Unsplash
