Forgiveness? Maybe Later

There is no denying that forgiveness has its virtues. It is a beautiful thing, a noble act, a beautiful way to find peace and move forward, but maybe it shouldn’t always be rushed. There will be times when you must first focus on yourself and heal. Forgiveness can come later…on your own terms.

Let’s be real right now, there are times when the mere mention of the word makes you want to throw something across the room. Well, you have been hurt, and your feelings are valid. Rushing to forgive in these times, before you are ready, can do more harm than good.

When you force yourself to forgive prematurely, you might just be masking your true feelings which only leads to suppressed anger, prolonging your emotional turmoil. It’s like putting a band-aid on a wound that needs stitches. It is not going to hold! True forgiveness should come from a place of strength and understanding, not from pressure or obligation.

So, your main focus in such times should be on healing which involves acknowledging your pain; understanding the impact on your life and your path forward; treating yourself with the kindness you deserve; and if the person who hurt you is still in your life, establishing boundaries.

See forgiveness as your personal journey; it should be at your own pace. There is no deadline. And when you feel ready, forgiveness will be a powerful way to let go of past hurts. But if you are not there yet, that’s still perfectly fine.

Remember, forgiveness is not about excusing the behavior or forgetting it happened. It is about freeing yourself from the burden of bitterness.

Forgiveness is a gift to yourself as much as it is to the person who wronged you. However, the timing of this gift is crucial. So, take the time you need to heal. And when you are ready, if you are ready, you can grant it.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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From The Good Men Project on Medium

What Does Being in Love and Loving Someone Really Mean?

My 9-Year-Old Accidentally Explained Why His Mom Divorced Me

The One Thing Men Want More Than Sex

The Internal Struggle Men Battle in Silence

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