We are officially in the 2021 Holiday Season and this year it seems that many families and friends will be under the same roof for the first time in two years.
It can be very uncomfortable for many people to be out of their comfort zone or worse yet be in a space that might not feel as safe as their own home. Our surroundings have a big impact on our responses and reactions to those around us.
I have found that the best way to approach an impending potentially uncomfortable situation or experience, is to think about it ahead of time. Sometimes even visualizing how it might happen, positively without incident.
In my visualizations, I imagine these three things every time.
1. Connect: I find it is very easy to connect with another person when I start a conversation by asking them some safe questions, open-ended ones. So far, I have been able to find something in common with the other person every time within the first few minutes of the conversation. It is a habit for me that many times plays out like a mystery game, I am eager to learn what we have in common by asking questions that reveal just enough about the other person to identify what we have in common.
2. Communicate: I find listening is a communication superpower that everyone has and many don’t realize it. When I listen to another person, I give them my undivided attention. For many people this might be something that they rarely experience so it could be delightful for them, putting them at ease.
3. Compassionate: I find in this time of the great divide it is generous to be compassionate to another person. I look for ways to support another person whether we have similar or conflicting thoughts on a topic. I find it easier to be compassionate when I let go of any story that I might have about them and their beliefs.
Being present with families and friends can be challenging for some people depending on their family dynamics and history. The one thing I know for sure is that there will come a time when not everyone will be with you for your gatherings and it is when they are with you that you are most likely to create memories from experiences that will carry you through grief and sadness when they are no longer with you.
I believe strongly in the last word and last action with those I love.
It goes something like this, I say what is on my heart and in my mind when I am talking with a family member or friend. I listen to the nudges that tell me to say this or say that with love. I do the things that come to mind when I am with someone or when I think of them. Saying and doing these things in this way leaves it clear for me when it does come to reflect on the last interaction I had with a family member or friend.
I treasure the relationships in my life past and present; I have lost too many relationships by not following my three Cs and I am grateful for the reflections that allow me to improve going forward in my relationships.
How do you treat your relationships during the Holiday Season?
What are some of the things you say and do to make your time with others more supportive and caring?
What reflections might you have about past experiences around the Holiday Season with your family and friends?
With much gratitude…
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This post is republished on Medium.
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Photo credit: Shutterstock
