Gay Man Grateful After Coming Out to Parents: “You Never Know How Long We’re Going To Be Around.” [Video]

.

.

Growing up in a conservative, religious household, Edison struggled to come to terms with his own sexuality. He was so concerned about rejection from his parents that he eventually distanced himself from them. After years of hiding and feeling disconnected, however, his partner questioned the sustainability of this approach: “Can you live with the fact that your parents don’t really know who you are?” Realizing this estrangement couldn’t continue any longer, Edison found the courage to write a three-page letter to his parents, sharing his truth. The response he received was beyond what he ever could have imagined, leading to a trip to Italy and a newfound sense of peace.

Transcript provided by YouTube:

0:00
[Music]
0:00
foreign
0:05
and I’m from New York City I grew up in
0:08
a loving extremely conservative
0:11
household
0:12
my family my parents were immigrants are
0:17
immigrants from Ecuador
0:20
very religious Catholic so as a kid I
0:23
always knew I was sort of different I
0:25
couldn’t pinpoint what it was but I knew
0:27
that I wasn’t playing around with all
0:29
the little boys I wanted to do my own
0:31
thing I was collecting shiny rocks and
0:34
and feathers not until I went to high
0:36
school that I started started feeling
0:39
that I was attracted to other boys I
0:42
knew that there was something that was
0:44
very different then but I still didn’t
0:47
know what to call it one particular
0:49
Sunday that we were going to church
0:51
because my parents would go to church
0:53
and they would take us to church every
0:55
Sunday
0:56
um
0:57
the priest is actually doing the sermon
1:00
in he’s talking about homosexuality and
1:03
how evil he was he’s saying all this
1:06
stuff and and I feel like he’s actually
1:09
talking to me he’s actually directing me
1:11
he’s going off about how
1:14
you know homosexuals are pedophiles and
1:16
they’re going to go to hell when I came
1:18
back home I felt like I felt so I was in
1:22
so much pain but at the same time I felt
1:25
that something was wrong with me
1:26
something horrible was happening to me
1:29
and I swore that I was never going to
1:31
talk about it with my parents they would
1:33
not understand
1:35
um and I also didn’t know anyone like me
1:36
so I felt alone and I started
1:40
withdrawing
1:41
um I had Suicidal Thoughts I felt that
1:44
you know I I didn’t know where to turn
1:46
and that really caused a lot of distance
1:48
between me and my parents and my family
1:50
so throughout my college Years I was you
1:53
know I met a couple of guys and I had
1:57
some relationships with them but they
1:58
were all class at it the people that I
2:00
was like
2:02
um hanging out with were also class in
2:03
it
2:04
um in mostly during college I felt that
2:07
I was so distant for my my parents
2:10
especially my family especially my
2:11
parents
2:13
um and I knew that the reason was
2:16
because I knew that there were still
2:18
church-going people and I knew exactly
2:21
how they felt about homosexuality so
2:25
for a very long time I stopped sharing
2:28
with them I graduated college in 1991
2:31
and then I moved to Jersey City
2:34
it was there where I met my
2:38
first official boyfriend he was already
2:41
out to his parents and
2:44
I remember one particular night we were
2:47
laying in bed
2:50
and he’s talking to me about his
2:51
relationship with his parents
2:53
and he’s telling me that you know
2:57
he has he asked me this question he’s
3:00
like
3:01
Edison how would you know can you live
3:04
with the fact that
3:05
your parents don’t really know who you
3:07
are what he said just completely hit me
3:09
like to a point that it made me realize
3:13
that
3:14
it was important for me to tell my truth
3:17
it was important for me to share
3:19
to to let my parents know
3:22
who I was for real it was like a wake-up
3:25
call for me it was like it was like a
3:27
Moment of Truth for me
3:29
and I said to him you’re right you know
3:32
I don’t care what the truth is what what
3:35
happens what what the outcome is but
3:38
you’re right I need to tell my truth to
3:40
them so I’ve wrote him a letter it was
3:41
like a three-page letter
3:43
and
3:45
I started explaining to them exactly you
3:47
know my feelings what I’ve been going
3:48
through how much pain I’ve been going
3:50
through so I wrote this letter I said it
3:52
to them
3:53
and I was so afraid
3:56
to find out what would be the outcome of
3:59
you know why would they say
4:01
um a couple of days later I got a I get
4:03
a phone call from them
4:05
they call me up they’re both on the
4:07
phone and they’re both crying
4:09
and they’re both telling me how it
4:13
didn’t matter you know even though they
4:14
didn’t understand
4:16
what I was going through you know all
4:19
the details about my you know my
4:21
lifestyle
4:22
made love for me was unconditionally and
4:24
no matter what they loved me the three
4:26
of us were crying over the phone and it
4:28
was just
4:30
such a like an incredible moment for me
4:33
because finally it was like
4:36
like a moment of freedom for me you know
4:39
and and such a beautiful thing to be
4:40
able to like just let it go and tell my
4:43
parents you know
4:45
who you know just let him know who I was
4:47
for real it so happens that the
4:49
following year not like a couple of
4:51
months later we had already planned this
4:53
trip to to Europe so we went to Italy it
4:56
was such a beautiful experience to
4:57
actually share that time with them
5:00
especially with my dad
5:02
him knowing who I was three months after
5:05
the trip my dad passes away
5:08
and
5:11
um regardless of how sad it was and you
5:14
know
5:15
how tough it was to deal with his death
5:18
there was also a sense of of Peace in me
5:21
knowing that
5:23
I had
5:24
that he had no he had known his son that
5:27
he that he knew who I was I was able to
5:29
let go without any guilt and it was it
5:33
was just such a beautiful thing to be
5:35
able to have that as I’m telling this
5:37
story I’m thinking of my partner who
5:39
passed away also passed away he actually
5:42
was the one that
5:43
installed that made me do this that that
5:46
gave me that posed that question to me
5:49
and and made me realize how important it
5:52
was for me to tell my truth
5:55
regardless of what the outcome was it’s
5:58
important for people to know who we
6:00
really are especially our loved ones
6:04
um
6:05
it’s important for for us to to let them
6:09
know who we really are you never know
6:11
you know how long we’re going to be
6:13
around and you don’t want to be left
6:15
with unfinished anything on finish in
6:18
your life you want to be able to at
6:19
least share truly your truth with the
6:22
people that you love
6:35
thank you

—

This post was previously published on YouTube.

***

You Might Also Like These From The Good Men Project

Compliments Men Want to Hear More Often

Relationships Aren’t Easy, But They’re Worth It

The One Thing Men Want More Than Sex

..A Man’s Kiss Tells You Everything

—

Photo credit: iStock