TASK #23 – GET YOUR EARS BUSY
“No man ever listened himself out of a job”. Calvin Coolidge
If someone like Coolidge, who clearly understood the importance of listening, suddenly found himself transported to the good ol’ USA today, he would be appalled. People don’t even PRETEND to listen to each other, especially when it comes to politics–and now the bad listening has spread into our daily social intercourses as well.
So I found myself thinking–how do you train yourself to be a listener?
at the top of his lungs.
And, truth be told–I’m not a listener. Oh, I’ll stop talking during a conversation, but that isn’t the same as listening. To be a listener you have to hear what someone else says. And it has to register, make an impression, resonate–whether you agree or not.
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People don’t even PRETEND to listen to each other, especially when it comes to politics.
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So I set about to learn how to listen. After much trial and error, here is what I have to share:
Listening takes discipline, self-control, and commitment. You have to train yourself.
Are you listening? Here are a few tips:
1. Look at the person who’s talking to you. I have a tendency to look around when someone is talking to me, especially if there is a tv in the room, and I never look at the person talking to me if there are sports on the tv.
2. Once looking, engage your brain.
3. Don’t talk ’til the other person has stopped talking.
4. Before you talk, think about what you’re going to say. And make sure what you say is directly related to what they said.
5. If you didn’t understand what they said, ask them to repeat it. Don’t pretend that you understand.
6. Speak, then shut up and repeat steps 1-5.
TASK:
Once a day, every day this week, have a conversation with someone in which you make a determined effort to listen. Then open your notebook and down WHO the conversation was with, WHAT was discussed, and what you said in return. Did you learn anything? If so, write it down.
Photos by Montse PB and the Author
