
“Momma always said, ‘Stupid is as stupid does.’” Forrest Gump
I’ve always had trouble understanding what momma meant, but my wife tells me it means stupid is about what you do. Smart people do stupid things. Stupid is defined by actions.
There are two kinds of stupid, bad stupid and good stupid.
Bad stupid:
Bad stupid is thinking you know when you don’t. The Dunning Kruger Effect explains that people with limited knowledge think they know when they don’t. (You always have limited knowledge.)
Good stupid:
Good stupid is showing up curious even when you think you know, and you usually overestimate what you know.
The cure for bad stupid is humility. The practical expression of humility is asking open questions. Closed questions protect your power because they control responses. For example, “Don’t you think…?” holds power with the questioner. Asking, “What do you think?” gives power to the responder when it’s spoken sincerely.
Closed questions:
- Yes or no.
- Factual questions.
- Have an ‘or’. Do you prefer x or y?
- Have one correct answer.
You retain power when you ask closed questions because you judge the answer.
Note: Some closed questions are useful.
Open questions:
#1. Explore:
- How do you feel?
- What’s going on for you?
- What are your thoughts?
#2. Cause reflection:
- What makes that important to you?
- What would you do differently next time?
- What’s working?
- When are you at your best?
- What gives you energy?
#3. Generate solutions:
- What are some options?
- What else comes to mind?
- What contributed to this issue?
- What would you like to try?
Application:
Assume you don’t know as much as you think. Ask questions especially when you think you understand something or someone. Practice saying, “Tell me more,” or “And what else?”.
How can you practice “good stupid” today?
Still curious:
How Solutions Make Leaders Stupid
If You Aren’t Dumb You’re Stupid
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This post was previously published on LEADERSHIPFREAK.BLOG and is republished with Creative Commons license.
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From The Good Men Project on Medium
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