Green Flags, Red Flags, and the Value of Small Gestures

One thing I’ve learned in life is that relationships, like anything meaningful, require constant effort to grow and thrive. Think of them like plants — they need consistent nourishment and care. The results, much like the fruits of a well-tended garden, reflect the energy and dedication you’ve put in.

There are times when a relationship might not turn out the way you hoped, or a job might not value your efforts. But I firmly believe that the work you put into anything will eventually come back to you, even if it’s in an unexpected form. I strongly believe in karma. Everything you do and receive is connected. The rewards of your efforts may not always come in the way you imagine, but they do come — a happy marriage, a loving child, a fulfilling promotion, or even something as simple as a small joy that fills your heart.

To truly embrace these rewards, you need to approach life with open arms and a willingness to accept what comes your way. Sometimes, the reward might be small, but its impact can be immense.

I will tell you a short story here.

My manager recently shared that her husband, with whom she’s been married for 30 years makes her tea every morning. A small gesture, but one that has sustained their bond over the years. She was excitedly planning to surprise him with an Alexa-compatible kettle for his birthday, and I loved hearing about the care and thoughtfulness behind that gift.

In today’s language, they’re the ultimate “green flags” for each other. Their relationship is like a flourishing garden, nurtured by years of little but meaningful efforts.

Throughout my life, I’ve often found myself waiting to receive the love and care I longed for. But I’ve learned that love doesn’t always come in the form of a romantic partner. It can come from loving parents, a devoted child, or a close friend who becomes your confidant. We often tie our happiness to the idea of having one person who’s always by our side. But I’ve realized that love begins within us. It doesn’t have to fit into a box — it could even come from a furry friend who becomes your companion.

We need to break free from the stereotypes of love and widen our horizons.

Love is everywhere, and it’s within our power to give and receive it. The “green flags” and “red flags” we see in others also exist within us.

At times, we may exhibit the red flags we fear, but those moments often have deeper stories behind them — stories of hurt, struggle, or unmet needs.

Whether it’s a marriage, a friendship, or even a “situationship,” every bond requires effort. Sometimes, that effort is as small as listening when someone needs to vent about their bad day — without trying to fix it or offer logic. Other times, it’s as big as cooking them a comforting meal to help them forget their struggles. These seemingly simple acts can make all the difference.

Making time for each other is essential. Every relationship — whether with kids, parents, siblings, friends, partners, or even teammates — requires attention and care, though in different ways. Effort is the foundation of love, trust, and success.

That said, I’m not suggesting you pour endlessly into something that doesn’t give back. You don’t have to overflow an already full bucket. But where there is space, let your emotions flow.

Give your relationships the care they need to grow, and you’ll find that the love, trust, and happiness you seek will follow.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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