“He Was My Everything, and Then He Left”

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Transcript provided by YouTube. Slightly edited with AI.

Finding Closure After a Breakup

Whatever you think was amazing about this relationship, you’re going to look back and realize it was like spaghetti in a can. You’ll think, “I can’t believe I thought that was the greatest thing.”

Retreat Announcement

What’s up, everybody! Before we get into this episode of **Love Life**, I have a couple of quick announcements. The retreat is coming up from September 9th to the 15th in Fort Lauderdale, Florida, right on the beach. Who wants to join us for six days of immersive coaching? You can still sign up, but not for much longer because tickets are extremely limited. Go to **MHretreat.com**. If big changes are what you want in the coming years, this event is for you.

And for all our **Love Life** club members, we’re doing live events for members for the very first time! In October, there will be an event in LA, and in December, we’re doing a New York event. Go to the **Love Life Members** app to find out more if you haven’t already gotten your tickets. If you’re not currently a Love Life member, you can still join in time for these live events and gain access to the entire Love Life portal. Go to **Llifeclub.com** to become a member today.

A Message from Ruby

Now, let’s dive into this episode. We have a question that came in via email. You can reach us at **[email protected]**. This message came from someone who just finished university. She’s 22, the same age as our intern Ryan. I asked him if he would like to hear advice from “oldies” like us, and he readily accepted!

This person hasn’t asked to remain anonymous, but just in case, let’s give her a name. How about “Ruby”?

Ruby writes, “Hi, I had a boyfriend of nearly four years. We were together through all of university and covid, living together and meeting each other’s friends and family. Everything looked good. We started having real problems, however, once I moved back home after university. Between the distance and the arguments, everything went wrong.

I listened to episode 161 and I believe he just didn’t feel it as strongly as I did. It’s now been a year since the final breakup, and he’s been seeing a work colleague for well over four months. I’m lost and clueless. There is nothing more I could have done. I tried to see him so many times, and he would always reply, but finally, I decided to go over to his place so he could hear me out in person. I poured my heart out to him, and three days later, he blocked me. I know he’s probably moved on with her, but he’s my first real love, and I just don’t know how to get over him. My future and him as a person seemed so perfect when he cared. What should I do?”

Reading that broke my heart a little. The last sentence resonated deeply. I think I saw myself in it—the feeling of being unable to get over your first love when everything seemed so perfect.

Understanding First Love

Ruby, thank you for sharing your story. I’m curious to hear what you have to say about it, Matthew.

There’s something so profound about the feelings that come with first love. It feels incredibly important, and in many ways, it is. When was your first love, by the way?

I don’t even know how to answer that question! My first loves were more like crushes, people I admired from afar. I remember one time, I was having a deep conversation with a friend, and when the girl I had a crush on walked by, I just completely stopped talking. My friend couldn’t stop teasing me about it afterward.

Advice for Ruby

Let’s get back to Ruby. She feels lost after pouring her heart out and receiving such a quick, dismissive response. Ruby, you are absolutely right; it is an intense experience to feel so strongly for someone, especially when you haven’t had those feelings before. It’s hard to let go because you have nothing to compare it to.

Understand that relationships are more than just feelings. When he was showing you intense feelings, it felt amazing, but when life circumstances changed and you moved home, the relationship didn’t endure.

You had a relationship for a season, much like completing college. College was not forever; it served a purpose during a certain period of time, and so too did this relationship.

Moving Forward

Keep in mind that a love that truly endures is one that can transition through different seasons of life. The love you experienced may have felt special at the time, but it wasn’t meant to last.

I know it’s hard to imagine now, but one day you will look back and smile at what you experienced. The feelings you felt were real and valid, but they will pale in comparison to what you will experience later.

I know you’re thinking, “What if I never love like that again?” But the truth is, you will. Every new relationship has its own unique DNA, and you will find new chemistry and excitement that may even surpass what you felt before.

You may feel that you’ve lost the best part of your life, but the truth is, all the best stuff is still ahead of you!

Embracing Change

I think you’re going to see that this experience makes you more resilient and empathetic. You’ll have a greater understanding of what love is by learning about what it isn’t. So go ahead, embrace this tough situation. Every step you take toward healing will bring you closer to the real love you deserve.

Don’t forget that the right person will appreciate your feelings and reciprocate. The intense feelings you shared with your first love were beautiful, but they were just the beginning of your journey.

So fight for yourself, Ruby. Remember, you are the hero of your own story.

We want to hear from you again—send us an email in a month or six months to let us know how you’re doing.

Closing Thoughts

And for all our listeners, if you haven’t already, check out **WhatToSayNext.com**. We have a free guide that shows you nine specific ways to spark conversations and connect with new people. This could create new opportunities for anyone ready to get out there and start connecting again.

Thank you all for listening. Leave us a review wherever you listen to your podcasts; they mean a lot to us. Until next time, be well and love life, friends!

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This post was previously published on YouTube.

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