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Maybe you don’t volunteer because you are too busy. Your time is too valuable. Believe me, I am guilty of this. But, guess what? So are the coaches. They have kids and jobs and responsibilities outside of this goat rodeo just like you do. They are stressed from work and life but still manage to show up well before game time to make sure everything is ready for your future Cal Ripken when they arrive, high-fiving them and getting them excited for the game.
I don’t know about you, but trying to corral a gaggle of kids between the ages of three and 15 sounds like the stuff of nightmares (and reason number 5000 to be thankful for teachers). I’m lucky if I can get one of my three children to brush their teeth in the morning. Day after day these coaches are teaching our kids to master skills like throwing, kicking, pitching, and catching. Beyond that, they are demonstrating the value of listening, trying hard, showing up on time, and supporting their teammates. These are lessons that will serve them well into adulthood and as they enter relationships with significant others, bosses, and hopefully even strangers.
Coaches also have to listen as parents, grandparents and even the kids themselves tell them what they are doing wrong. And they have to do it for free. There are so many armchair quarterbacks at my kids’ sports you would think every one of these parents played professional sports at some point in their lives. Here’s a thought: if you can perform this job that much better than the coaches, perhaps you should volunteer yourself. And don’t even get me started on the shit I hear screamed at the refs, some of them kids themselves.
These (mostly) dad’s sweat it out on fields, in gymnasiums, and on courts every single day. They steel themselves for the inevitable backlash from parents when their kids lose their tenth straight game, capping a winless season all while trying to keep morale up for their players. Or when they get yelled at because their kid didn’t get enough playing time. I watched my poor son’s T-ball coach try to keep ten 4-year-old kids attention on a field where a guy stood a hundred yards away flying a remote controlled airplane. Do you have any idea how hard that was? It was like trying to tell a bunch of grown men to pay attention to a power point presentation while a supermodel stood naked holding a tray of beers in the corner.
And at the end of the game, we all rush off to our cars, scurrying to get home to dinner, homework and everyday life. The coaches are left to clean up the field, put equipment away and wait until the last child has been safely picked up. Maybe next time, instead of rushing off, I’ll take the time to say, thank you or help pick up the field at the end of a game. I bet they’d like to be sitting around the dinner table with their families too.
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Photo: GettyImages
Last year was the first year I didn’t coach at least one youth team after 18 years. A younger friend, a D1 athlete and NCAA referee, credits me with giving him the best youth coaching advice he’s gotten- Don’t answer any emails or phone calls for 24 hours after a game. In retrospect a major reason I coached was to stay away from parents.
My favorite coaching story took years for me to find out about. Right around the time that my ex-wife filed for divorce, I was asked to be the head coach of a team that my son played on because the association was in a bind. I said sure. It was not my first time coaching or being a head coach, but the first time I was the head coach in this sport. I thought we had a good season and the kids had fun. Lots of the kids I coached that year still smile and say hi to me when… Read more »
“Or when they get yelled at because their kid didn’t get enough playing time.” We have no idea. Did it for years. Yes, keeping kids corralled is like herding gerbils. One does learns how to keep them occupied, but the biggest challenge was often the parents either thinking their child is a special snowflake, or living vicariously through them. I worked mostly with 12 year old boys. Easy to teach them how to take a loss in stride, but the parents? The kids were all about fun, the parents all about winning seasons, as if there were contract deals waiting… Read more »
Should read, “while downplaying winning”. Typo.