We start off putting our best foot forward when walking into a new relationship. We want our partner to only see us in the best light. Our manners are impeccable and our language perhaps a little less vulgar than usual. Bodily functions are tightly clenched in and the most annoying habits are both hidden away and looked over. Essentially, we are on our best behavior. Hell, we even share our glass of wine!
Time marches on and the curtain is pulled back just a bit. We begin to notice our partner’s more human qualities and some of our own emerge as well. We see that sometimes they are not as patient as we once thought they were. We demonstrate that we can be a bit catty at times. Periodically they may even spout out words we didn’t even know were in their vocabulary and a few slip past our lips as well. Before you know it we are drinking soda too quickly and prior to it completely settling in our belly, a small (or not so small) belch is released.
Does this all mean we are no longer trying to impress our partner? Yes and no. Of course we still want our partner to be impressed by us. We should also continue to be our best for ourselves and our partner. However, the level of comfort has significantly increased when these things start to occur. The sort of comfort level which leaves you finally able to get a good nights sleep laying beside your partner, drool and all.
Now, I am not saying that if your partner has been overtly deceiving you into believing they are a different person you should turn the other cheek. What I am talking about here is truly letting your guard down and letting your partner see you, all of you. Let your hair down and let you partner see your real face without all of the makeup. Recognize that each of you are perfectly imperfect. Embrace the idea that another human will still love you if your home is not perfectly kept. Your partner deserves to experience you and all of your glorious imperfections.
As you begin to move into this more comfortable space in your relationship, don’t forget that little things matter. We should not forget what led to this space in the first place. It is paramount to keep flirting (even if you are bad at it), court one another, and discover new ways of saying, “I love you”. Seduce one another, stargaze, and laugh together. We all strive to reach a remarkable comfort level within our relationship, but remember to keep the magic alive. The time we have on this planet should be meaningful and special, even if your partner now refuses to share their glass of wine. It’s fine, just grab another glass and say cheers to how far you have come together.
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Photo: Terry Vlisidis Unsplash
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