When we put ourselves, body and soul, into a relationship it is an investment in life, the future, our own happiness. When what seemed to be “the relationship” does not work out as we hoped, it takes guts to get out of it, and it takes guts to get out there and try again.
Derack had his heart broken into a million pieces—twice—by the time he was 35 and he was seriously thinking about tucking himself away and not trying again. But he did try again. He opened himself up to love and it was damned scary for him. But he had the guts to risk his heart, knowing how transformative the rewards might be.
If you had the courage to feel the fear and do it anyway—honor that. Be proud of yourself. Don’t focus on the dark weight on your chest that kept you from taking a deep breath for weeks. Instead, focus on the fact that you came through all that, and here you are.
Look at your courageous spirit and honor it! Here is a checklist of your personal courage.
You faced your fears. You loved. You left. Whatever you did, you eyeballed your darkest fears and stared ‘em down.
You took a leap of faith. Love is always that. Good for you. Not loving is a greater tragedy than loving and losing could ever be.
You took risks—regardless of the cost. If this were the Olympics, you’d have a gold medal.
You allowed yourself to be vulnerable, honest, and authentic. For that alone you deserve tons of credit.
You trusted yourself. And that means you know how to love yourself, and trust and love others.
You followed your heart/intuition. Maybe it steered you wrong, maybe it didn’t, but you were listening….
You owned your responsibility in the relationship. Coming through a relationship without blaming someone and without playing the victim is a sign you are honoring yourself.
You spoke your truth. With or without fear… you did it.
You learned what you needed to learn about yourself and experienced tremendous personal growth. What is the point of going through all that without growth and learning? Do you know how many people do not get that? Good for you.
You learned about what you want and need in a relationship. That, my friend, is damned good information to have.
You had the courage to walk away. Pretty soon you’ll realize that walking away has become walking towards… something else.
You love, respect, and value yourself. Which means you won’t settle for less than you deserve.
You allowed the heartbreak to move through you, not get stuck in you. Dark and painful emotions can toxify us and come to define us, or they can move through us so that we feel them, release them, learn from them. When you can look at your own past pain and say, “That was interesting,” and know fully what it taught you, you are both courageous and honoring your highest good.
Yes indeed, you are very brave in your quest to find true love. Embrace your power and honor your journey.