How Do You Get a Man to Emotionally Open Up to You

We often hide our inner thoughts and feelings because we worry that other people will not accept them. But we prevent people from knowing and accepting us as we are when we don’t give them the opportunity to get to know us.

By not being open to others, we are actually saying that we are not fully accepting ourselves. We deny ourselves the opportunity to speak, to proclaim our inner thoughts and feelings.

If your partner is closed off, it will be difficult for you or anyone else to understand what’s going on in their head. You may feel intimidated being around them.

Openness promotes an intimate relationship. When someone is closed off, it is usually because they are afraid of vulnerability. They think, “If I tell you how I really feel about you, then you have the power to hurt me.”

If we are jealous, happy, anxious, or sad, it’s in our power to share these feelings. Although we can’t force people to share their emotions, with a little patience and kindness, you can get your partner to open up rather than forcing them to.

Why are some people afraid to open up?

Some people find it easy to be open about their emotions. They have the ability to freely share their innermost feelings with loved ones without fear of emotional backlash.

For others, the fear of opening up is simply too great. More often than not, the reason is that they fear their feelings will be used against them.

Perhaps they have negative feelings about their own personality and don’t want others to see it. Past experiences can also cause someone to close their heart from expressing love or trusting anyone.

Sometimes they may not know how to express their thoughts and emotions. If you feel your partner is ruining your intimacy with their closed attitude, follow these steps to get them to open up a little.

Tell them about your vulnerability

The easiest way to make someone trait you enough to open up about their deepest emotions is to tell them about yours. When you share and expose your vulnerability, the other person feels safe to do the same with you.

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It’s not fair to expect your partner to be open if you’re not willing to do the same. So get in the habit of being open too. By sharing your problems, your partner is more likely to share as well.

Be a listener rather than a speaker

Most of us are bad communicators. We get carried away speaking about ourselves, ignoring the other person. If you want your partner to verbally experience how they feel, you have to be curious about them more than you are about yourself.

Make sure you allow time for silence and for the person to thoughtfully share when they are ready. During the discussion, remain in the present moment without referring to the past.

Approach them with a similar subject

I remember a time my ex had made me open up about an embarrassing experience that I NEVER talk to anyone about. We were watching a tv show related to my experience, and suddenly I was cold. He saw my facial expression and approached the subject a few days later. But this time, he told me about his friend who had the same experience.

Before I knew what was going on, I started talking about mine too. So, if you want your partner to open up emotionally, talk about something related you heard or read online. Ask their opinion on the matter and how they would deal with it if it were them.

Give them space to meet you halfway

While you might be the kind of person who doesn’t have trouble telling everyone when you’re having a bad day, it’s important to recognize that some people are built differently.

It is important to remember that people also process things in their own way and at different speeds; they may not really know how to answer your questions because they didn’t ask the questions themselves. Your partner may need to internalize their emotions before expressing them to others.

Explain why honesty is important to you

I can’t commit to you if I don’t trust you. And I’ll tell you right away, if I feel you’re holding back. Honesty and openness are very important to the success of a romantic relationship.

If your partner is struggling to open up about something in particular, it might help to explain why you feel a conversation is necessary. Some people prefer to live their separate life, so they avoid emotional connection. Let your partner know how important it is for you to know how you make them feel and what bothers them.

Parting words

Open and honest communication plays a huge role in the success of any relationship, particularly romantic ones. We have the power to change things by being open and sharing things.

But also keep in mind that we cannot be completely open to everyone, and in some situations, we have to keep the topic closed within the relationship.

However, it is up to you to decide how to talk about yourself and what to say. Telling someone where you bought that new pair of shoes can be a simple step to opening up.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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