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I will never find another guy like you
On several occasions, I have talked with a woman I dated. Technically, we went on one date, and the rest of the time (for about six months), I spent time with her and her kids, from helping build a garden at her house to going to the playground. She was born in an island country in West Asia and moved to the US not that many years ago.
After one simple conversation about her ex coming around whenever he wanted, we decided to become friends. I told her I understood her position and said I may do the same thing in her position.
But I was in my position and didn’t hang around exes. The depletion of potential territorial battles is my thing. I believe the family is who currently lives in the home.
We walked around her block together, talking for over an hour during that conversation. It was lovely but also sad.
About six months later, we talked about her conversation with a fellow student at her college. She had talked with a fellow student about the couple of dates she had been on with a guy. She started the conversation by saying, “You were right. I will never find another guy like you.”
I had no idea how to respond to her.
I had to magically come up with a way to convince her that she would find a great guy and raise her hopes.
At the same time, I told her that I spent years developing myself to be not a good guy but valuable. I explained that when we were on our walk that day, six months ago, I had said she wouldn’t find another guy like me, and I said it in a humble way, knowing how most men are these days.
Plus, I didn’t trust most men with her—she was a pretty woman, a 4.0 biology student, and had an awesome accent. I had no idea she would remember anything I said that day.
A year later, after having gone on a date with another guy, we caught up, and she said the same thing. I never thought I would hear it once, much less twice!
“You were right. I would never find another guy like you.”
The last time I heard her say that, it was about two years after our conversation. Now that I’m married and my wife has said something very similar that brings things beyond the viewpoint of one world-class woman. My wife has called me her dream guy. A guy she had always looked for, but like most women, they ended up getting into a relationship with less-than-imaginable men.
I can only say one thing: It’s a choice.
I made that same error before myself, but I made sure to get out of that situation as soon as possible and get back on the right track.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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From The Good Men Project on Medium
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Photo credit: Jeffrey Keenan on Unsplash