Every week, The Good Men Project Premium Member Community has a conference call with Publisher Lisa Hickey. Some people have been attending for years. Some people are first-time callers. Many are in between. All want to talk about the things no one else is talking about. To come together as a community. Not necessarily to agree, but to hear each other’s perspectives. The results are lively, spirited and insightful.
Today’s call began like this:
How do men deal with danger? We’re going to ask some questions, and then list out the types of dangers men face:
-How do you evaluate it?
-How do you weigh the respective dangers to yourself and those you love?
-Do you feel obligated, as a man, to protect your family and loved ones even if it means a clear and present danger to yourself?
-How often do you think about these dangers? Do you try to protect yourself and your loved ones ahead of time, or do you just try to live your life and take things as they come?
-Danger of Financial Instability — not being able to pay your bills, provide for your family
-Danger of being OK financially but not being able to deal with a catastrophic situation
-Danger of not being able to keep up with change
-Danger of catastrophic health problems
-Danger 0f journalists are being arrested or harmed
-Danger of being shot by the police
-Democracy is being destabilized and there may be a threat to democracy as we know it
-Dangers caused by climate change
-Danger of educations system not being there for our kids
-Danger of new policies
-Danger not just new policies but that the reason for these policies—such as a new AP report that says “BREAKING: Trump administration considers mobilizing as many as 100,000 National guard troops to round up unauthorized immigrants.”
-Russian compromising our elections
-Danger of the possibility of civil war
-Danger of the possibility of nuclear or international war
“One way to confront danger is to say I’m going to do something.”
“I’ve become political out of fear for my family.”
“I’m taking a class in self-defense and would recommend it highly.”
“I’m probably going to survive all this, but I don’t know what is going to happen for my grandchildren.”
“One of my biggest fears is climate change.”
“I’ve always lived with uncertainty. A support system is important. The calls at The Good Men Project…I am so appreciative of the diversity. The support. The insights. The knowledge that I am not in this alone.”
“In general, I am not all that fearful. But lately, I am stunned at the number of people that want and justify the proliferation of guns.”
“As a woman, I have always relied on men to protect me from danger. And I wonder if men sometimes feel like they have too much responsibility to take care of women. I am challenging my own assumptions right now.”
“If a couple is lying in bed and there’s a break-in in the middle of the night, who do you think is going to get out of bed to check it out?” [Another participant responds, “If you say the man, then you don’t know my wife.” (laughter)].
“It’s probably a gender thing because men tend to be bigger and stronger. But for me, it’s not just selfless. If anything happened to my wife or my kids and I could have done something, I would have a hard time living with myself. That said, I try not to pay attention when the danger is more abstract. I try and spend more time on the things I can have an effect on. To me, I have more impact in how we create people around us and the type of community we create.”
“Look at problems of the world —people who can see the problems are not in the ability to have power. As we know, money trumps morals.”
“I like to look at the very personal level of the question. How do you deal with danger? It’s a very personal thing about one’s own integrity about personal decisions and how you live your day-to-day.”
What is your story? How do you deal with danger? Click the red box below when you are ready to submit your personal essay.
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