When you imagine marriage counseling, you may imagine a couple who has drifted apart, making one last attempt to rekindle those flames, or an arguing couple trying their hardest to find civil agreement.
However, the marital counseling world is a lot more complicated. Many perfectly healthy couples seek counseling, and one type many are pursuing is premarital counseling.
Let’s look at what it is, what it can do for couples, and how much it costs.
What is Premarital Counseling?
Premarital counseling’s name is quite self-explanatory. It’s when an engaged couple speaks to a marriage counselor about any issues they may have, or if they want to be as informed as they can before they say “I do.”
Premarital counseling is becoming a lot more popular because it helps couples stay together longer. Too many people get married without knowing the ins and outs of the person they are marrying. Or, they may get married before knowing how to resolve conflict, manage finances, and discuss children.
With premarital counseling, it’s the answer to a long-lasting marriage.
How Much Does it Cost?
The cost of premarital counseling can vary. One Google search reveals that it can cost between $50-$150 per hourlong session. With any type of counseling, you may need a few sessions to get the most benefits. Marriage is a complex process, and a discussion about it can’t fit an hour.
The price of premarital counseling can depend on certain factors, including:
- Whether or not the therapist offers sliding scale payments, which is when the price depends on one’s income.
- Insurance. Some types of insurance, especially if you’re seeing a therapist, can be used for free or cheap counseling.
- Whether or not your counselor is faith-based. Some pastors and other religious figures may charge little, if nothing, to talk to you and your partner.
With that said, premarital counseling is worth the price. There are many things they don’t tell you about marriage, and what you don’t know could cost your marriage, and the price could be much steeper than what you would have to pay for counseling.
Can I Just Talk to My Friends?
Some people may not want to talk to premarital counseling, and instead think of their married friends or family as a worthy substitute. And indeed, someone who is married can offer a lot of wisdom.
However, they are not professionals. Counselors are trained and have experience in dealing with many couples. They know how the human psyche works.
Not only that but with a premarital counselor, you can be as open as possible. Your words won’t leave the building. Meanwhile, your friend may be a great person, but they may have a mouth on them.
What To Expect to Talk About in Premarital Counseling
Premarital counseling can deal with many topics concerning marriage. Here are some of them.
Finances
By now, you should probably know what job your fiance(e) works at, but you may not know how much money they have. You may not know how many debts they owe, either. The person you love could be a big spender, while you spend very little.
Finances can be a reason why a marriage ends, and too many people marry without talking about it.
Going to premarital counseling can help with that. A counselor isn’t your accountant, but they do have experience with couples and their finances and can offer ways to spend wisely, save money, and be in financial harmony.
Conflict Resolution
No matter how alike you are, you’re going to have conflict. In fact, many couples try to avoid conflict as much as they can because it feels like a dirty word. However, the truth is that avoiding conflict can cause more harm than good. You bottle up all your feelings, and one day, you have enough and you explode.
A premarital counselor can teach you productive ways to resolve conflict. Reaching a common ground, learning to listen to what the other person has to say, and forgiveness are just some of the skills taught.
Living Together
Some couples have not lived together before marriage, and when they do move in together, they may be in for a surprise. People have habits that often go unnoticed until you’re living together, and these habits can end up driving the other person up the wall. For example, one person in the relationship may not put the toilet lid down after they use it. A premarital counselor can help you learn what to expect when living together.
Sex
Many people are still afraid of talking about sex. Meanwhile, there are some couples who haven’t had sex yet, or if they have, they haven’t done it much. Sex is a healthy part of marriage, and it should be discussed before marriage. What are some things the people in the relationship would be open to trying? What are some hard passes? How can couples establish boundaries? A premarital counselor can help with this.
Plans for the Future
Finally, a premarital counselor can help you and your partner think about the future. Maybe you’re undecided about children, and you want a counselor to help you talk about it. Perhaps you’re want to create some goals that you and your partner can work on.
The future is always a little uncertain, but a premarital counselor can help you with any questions you may have about that.
Is it Right for Me?
Not everyone needs premarital counseling. Plenty of marriages have been successful without it.
However, if you are getting married and haven’t had time to live with your spouse, you may want to consider it. Premarital counseling is great for couples who want to be together, but they still have a lot of unanswered questions. A counselor can help both people to open up and discuss some issues that they may not have wanted to talk about. If you are considering it, talk to a counselor today and see what they can do for you.
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