As an obsessive devourer of content related to psychology and relationships, I often come across a common topic: how do long-term couples sustain their attraction and love toward each other?
Before, I never gave much thought to this. My first relationship lasted for 14 years of which 7 were of marriage, and while it ended because something was missing and we didn’t know how to work it out, I never really thought I’d lose feelings for my ex if we were ever able to solve our issues.
But especially after the divorce, and as I dove deeply into personal development and spirituality, I understood something that made me realize how I’d never really get bored of a partner.
How not to get bored with your partner in the long term
The main goal of getting into personal development and spirituality is to know myself.
We often go on with our lives so disconnected from who we really are, that we lose awareness of what’s going on in our inner world. But when I started my journey of reconnection, I realized how complex and rich our inner world can be. And it never stays the same, it is constantly evolving and ever-changing.
It is as if each of us has a universe inside of us, that is alive on its own.
As I look within, I see a woman with many facets. A daydreamer, an artist, a writer… I am a lighthearted girl, a warrior queen, a passionate lover and a nurturing mistress. I’m a mother, a partner, a friend, a daughter, a sister, a colleague… My emotions can be a gentle Summer breeze or the furious waves of a tsunami. I have many dreams and desires, musings and whims.
There is so much complexity and everything inside is ever-changing. I’ve changed so much, especially compared to a couple of years ago, even if I’m still the same person.
As I really fell into the depths of this realization, I see how everyone has a whole world inside them. Knowing this, how can I assume that I’d ever fully know my partner?
To me, my partner is someone who I come to know over and over again, time and time again. There is so much to explore, so much yet to see, and yet so much yet to change, that I might never fully catch all of his essence.
I wonder, how will each of our ever-changing versions interact with each other over time?
Mónica Valverde is a daydreamer navigating the experience of human life. She’s in love with Spirituality, Inner Work and Relationships.
If you find this interesting, feel free to check out other related articles:
Why Marriage Counseling Didn’t Work For Me And What I Wish I Knew
How Self-Love Deeply Affects Our Relationships
This post was previously published on medium.com.
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