Years ago, before the Internet and ubiquitous use of smartphones, people used to lug around camcorders to videotape birthday parties, weddings, and other memorable events.
I remember seeing them everywhere.
Little league games and AYSO soccer matches were lined with proud parents juggling camcorders, trying to videotape all the action. Sometimes they bumped into one another.
Around this time, I read a splendid magazine article denouncing the proliferation and use of camcorders.
The author argued that while parents were busy fiddling with their camcorders, trying to capture the moment, they denied themselves the pleasure of truly experiencing the moment.
In other words, the camcorders got in the way of being present.
Stay in it
There’s a wonderful scene in the movie “The Secret Life of Walter Mitty.”
Walter Mitty (played by Ben Stiller) is an employee at Life magazine, sent to find the famous photographer Sean O’Connell (played by Sean Penn), to obtain the cover photo for the last issue of the magazine.
Walter finds Sean high in the Afghan Himalayas, waiting to photograph a rare snow leopard. But when the now leopard finally appears, Sean doesn’t take the photo.
“When are you gonna take it?” Walter asks.
“Sometimes I don’t. If I like a moment, I mean me, personally…I don’t like to have the distraction of the camera. I just want to stay in it,” Sean says.
“Stay in it?” Walter asks.
“Yeah, right there. Right here,” Sean replies.
.
.
In this day and age of blinking smartphones, social media, and endless digital distractions, it seems harder than ever to “stay in it.” Our attention spans and social discourse are suffering.
Live in the breath
The author Johann Hari, in an essay he wrote for The Guardian, notes:
A small study of college students found they now only focus on any one task for 65 seconds. A different study of office workers found they only focus on average for three minutes. This isn’t happening because we all individually became weak-willed. Your focus didn’t collapse. It was stolen.
People like to think that they can multitask various cognitive tasks, but in reality, they’re merely switching back and forth between them.
In Hari’s article, he quotes a neuroscientist who states that “your brain has to reconfigure, when it goes from one task to another,” which feels seamless but in reality hurts performance. It even has a name: The switch-cost effect.
If you want to conquer the anxiety of life, live in the moment, live in the breath. — Amit Ray, Om Chanting and Meditation
Similarly, when we spend our time worrying about things in the past or what might happen in the future, we rob ourselves of being fully present.
What matters is what you’re doing now, at this moment. The more focused and present you are (free of distractions) the more you’ll accomplish and experience.
It was our turn to cry
My wife is a hospice nurse.
Recently, she wrote a poignant reflection on her work and the importance of being present.
With her permission, I share it here:
Being present is a choice.
My job allows me the choice, of being present in a moment of intense grief, or not. I’ll explain.
I am a hospice nurse.
I work in an inpatient unit, the second oldest free-standing hospice house in the nation. We take care of patients that have symptoms that cannot be relieved at home. The sickest, the most painful, or the most alone.
I work 12-hour shifts. I give gallons of comfort meds. I’m sometimes exhausted beyond words, and sometimes I let my coworkers deal with emotional families. Sometimes it’s me.
Last weekend, I met an amazing couple. A bi-racial couple married 62 years. I only mention race because of the difficulty they faced before diversity was accepted. It only partly explained their incredible bond. Battle worn together.
She was now beyond communication as the cancer took everything from her. She lay in bed and he just held her hands. The end of her journey was very near.
But not that day.
A little later he came to my desk and said to call if “anything changes,” and I assured him we would. The next morning, I assessed her and read the clues. She was departing in a few hours. I called her beloved and he said he was on his way.
She. did. not. wait.
Mel, my aide, caught him at the door and prepared him. She was gone.
He fell to the ground crying quietly to himself. I saw this, and my other coworkers and I rushed to him. They were trying to lift him. I waved them off and allowed him the moment.
“It’s so final, I knew it was coming but it’s so FINAL. GONE.” He cried quietly.
I sat on the floor next to him, one hand on his shoulder. Just letting him know someone was there. For him. Someone was present for only him.
He visited with her for a few hours after he had collected the strength to stand. On his way out after his time with her, he thanked Mel and me.
He said we made him feel like they were the only people in the world at that time… he had never felt such kindness, compassion, or empathy. We thanked him for expressing his gratitude, and he hugged us.
Mel and I watched him go. We held each other’s shoulders.
It was our turn to cry. This is why I do this job.
And why I chose to be present.
The past and the future have their place, but they tend to distract us from being fully present. So do our smartphones, social media, and endless digital distractions.
Making the simple choice to take charge of your attention can improve your life, by allowing you to become more present.
And when we are present, we accomplish work more efficiently. When we are present, we truly hear what our partners, children, and friends are saying to us.
When we are present, we are truly living.
Before you go
I’m John P. Weiss. I draw cartoons, take pictures, and write elegant essays about life. Check out my popular Saturday Letters here.
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This post was previously published on Medium.com.
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Cartoons by John P. Weiss
