How to Be a Better Version of Yourself

For 22 years, I’ve always thought of myself as kind and understanding.

Sure, I’ve made mistakes, both to others and myself, but I’ve always believed that deep down, I’m still a good person.

But then, one day, I started wondering why bad things keep happening to me, even though I’m trying to be good?

I’m not saying I expect everything to be perfect, but why does it feel like when I’m happy, something bad is always waiting around the corner?

I’ve watched motivational speakers, for me to control my emotions, and it led me to realize that I want to be a better, healthier version of myself.

I want to love myself so I can attract what I deserve and handle life’s challenges with better emotional control.

When I thought about how to start this journey, I considered taking care of my body, eating healthier, meditating, and decluttering – things I’ve seen online.

But while I was on my way home from work one Sunday, I suddenly realized it had been months since I last went to church.

I thought, “It’s okay. God knows I’m busy.” I prayed every night, and that’s what matters, right?

But as I decided to visit the church that day, even though the mass was over, I sat in the corner, feeling fine – no big problems weighing me down.

When I started praying, I just wanted to thank Him. But in the middle of my prayer, I found myself asking for forgiveness.

All the things I’ve done wrong over the years started flooding my mind, and I began crying like a child. I asked God to help me forgive the people who hurt me, even though I thought I had already forgiven them.

That’s when I realized something important: I can lie to myself and others, but not to Him. He knows everything, even the things I don’t fully understand about myself. And I felt ashamed. I wasn’t as close to being the “better person” I thought I was.

I realized I often forgot about Him when I was happy, only turning to Him in sadness.

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I thanked Him out of habit, not from the heart. And in that moment, I realized that while I felt ignored or hurt by people I love, I was doing the same to Him – ignoring Him except when I needed something.

Yet, through all of this, He waited. He stayed. Always.

The point is, when you search online for “How to be a better version of yourself,” you see lists of steps – exercise, meditate, declutter – but there’s one crucial thing missing: God. He should be the first step.

Many self-improvement guides focus on the external, but real growth often requires something deeper. By seeking forgiveness from Him, and truly forgiving yourself and others, you unlock the ability to heal and move forward. It’s not just about becoming a “better” version of yourself, but becoming more whole, more at peace with your past, and more aligned with the person you want to be.

So this isn’t a typical guide to becoming a better person. It’s simpler: Seek Him. Ask for forgiveness. Forgive yourself. Forgive others. And let things unfold naturally. That’s how you truly become the best version of yourself.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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